He added their names to the list and settled in for the forty-minute wait. “How’s the apartment working out for your sisters?”
“Surprisingly well. As part of the agreement with my parents, Julie and Jessie have to pay their own utilities, so it’s teaching them responsibility.”
“That’s good.” He thought about the twins’ age—only four years younger than his twenty-four years. “Do you ever feel older than your age? Your sisters seem so much younger than us, but there’s not much of a difference.”
“I know what you mean, and I’ve thought about it, too.” She waved a hand in a circular motion. “You and I, and probably half the people in here have more life experience than most our age, that likely adds a decade to us.”
“Would you do it all over again, knowing how it would turn out?” As soon as the question came out, he could have kicked himself. Not exactly light dinner conversation.
The question didn’t faze her, a testament to the strength she’d found in recent months. “Without a doubt. Some people live their whole lives never experiencing the love Mike and I had. Sharing six years of marriage with him was worth the heartbreak at the end.”
His gaze drifted to her ring finger again. “You took it off?”
A bittersweet aura hovered over her. “It’s in my jewelry box. The decision wasn’t easy, but I finally realized that removing the ring doesn’t diminish what I shared with him, rather, it helps me establish my new life without clinging to the old.”
“If I haven’t told you yet, I’m really proud of you.” Hesitantly, he gave her hand a squeeze. “Your transformation this year has been remarkable.”
“It’s a day-by-day process.” Her eyes shifted downward and looked at his hand still on hers, but she didn’t pull away.
Neither did he, for a reason he knew too well but refused to accept.
Chapter Twelve
She knew better than to let Evan’s hand stay on hers, but she missed him. More than she should. As Kate had predicted, not talking about the kiss had interfered with her and Evan’s friendship. They’d barely seen each other since Christmas, a drastic change from when they’d spent several days a week together.
Yet the time apart had made her realize she cared for him, and that maybe—just maybe—she could open her heart to love again. What she’d told Evan while they waited for a seat was true. She didn’t regret marrying Mike, and would still have married him, even if she’d known how soon he would die. By that same logic, why should she shy away from a potential relationship with Evan?
Life was too short to make decisions based on fear. She might get hurt again, but she also might find years of joy ahead of her.
Every time she thought about telling Evan her feelings, she froze. She’d picked up her phone to call him many times over the last several weeks, but chickened out each time.
When he’d called earlier that evening, he was giving her that opportunity, but she’d still hesitated. They needed to have a serious talk, but making herself vulnerable scared her. What if his feelings didn’t match hers, and she set herself up for disappointment?It’s a risk you know you must take.
She moved her hand from his. The light touch affected her in ways that clouded her thinking. Let them get through the meal first, then they’d talk.
They were called to a table and sat on two end seats of an eight-person setting. A family celebrating a child’s birthday filled the remaining six chairs.
“What are you getting?” All the menu choices sounded good, and she couldn’t decide.
Evan hadn’t even opened the menu. “Salmon. As soon as you suggested coming here, I knew what I wanted.”
“I thought about shrimp, but they give a few as an appetizer.” Enjoying food after a year of not tasting anything she ate was a marvelous part of the healing process. “It’s narrowed down to steak or chicken.”
“Do they have a combination option?”
She scanned the menu. “Yes.”
“There you go.” His crooked grin warmed her spirit.
They placed their orders, and soon their chef came to the table wearing a tall hat and pushing a cart loaded with ingredients. He performed a juggling act with the utensils before scraping a large square of butter from a bowl and tossing it on the grill.
Good thing I don’t eat like this all the time.
The entertainment continued with a flaming onion and more demonstrations of skills with the utensils. Their lively environment provided neutral territory, and she and Evan fell into their easy friendship. For the length of the meal, she forgot about everything except enjoying time with her friend.
Too soon the meal ended. They returned to Evan’s car and sat silently for a span of several seconds. She didn’t have to remind Evan about her condition of acceptance. He’d keep his word.
He traced a finger along the inside rim of the steering wheel. “Do you want to go back to your house and talk?”
