“Yeah, but he stood me up.” She frowns, turning over onto her stomach. “And since then, he’s tried to get me to talk to him again, but it hurt my feelings.”
I wonder if he stood her up because they were rustling cattle, but I don’t say anything. “Would it be so bad if you gave him another shot?”
She cuts her eyes at me. “You know how we grew up, Atlee. We were always promised shit, but it was a lie. Our parents didn’t understand that they really needed to keep up with the promises they made.”
I understand what she’s saying. We’ve both been left scarred by our childhoods, but sometimes you have to make an exception to your rules. “Do you think you’d like him if you gave him a chance?”
“I don’t know.” She blows out a breath, her bangs moving. “Maybe that’s what I’m actually scared of.”
I sit up, tucking my legs beneath me as I consider my sister. We’re so different in some ways. She’s cautious, where I’m impulsive. She’s logical, where I follow my heart. But we sharethe same scars, the same history of disappointment and broken promises.
“You know,” I say carefully, swirling the beer in my bottle. “You could be missing out on something amazing if you don’t at least open your heart a little.”
Lennon snorts. “Says the girl who fell head over heels for a man in what? Two weeks?”
“I’m serious, Len,” I persist, ignoring her jab. “What if Carson is the one person who could actually get past all those walls you’ve built?”
“What if he’s not?” she counters, sitting up to face me. “What if I let him in and he just becomes another person who doesn’t show up when I need him?”
There’s real pain in her voice, and it hits me in the chest. I reach out, taking her hand in mine. “Then you pick yourself up and try again. Like we always have.”
“I’m tired of trying again,” she admits, her voice softer now. “I’m tired of believing people when they say they’ll be there and then finding myself alone anyway.”
I squeeze her hand. “Carson might have had a good reason for standing you up that night.”
She eyes me suspiciously. “Do you know something I don’t?”
I choose my words carefully, not wanting to give away anything about what the guys were doing. “I just think there’s more to him than maybe you’re giving him credit for. He seems genuinely interested in you.”
“At the bar the other night, you mean?” She takes another sip of her beer. “That was just flirting. It doesn’t mean anything.”
“Didn’t look like ‘just flirting’ to me,” I argue. “The way he looks at you, Len, it’s like he’s trying to figure you out. Like you’re a puzzle he wants to solve.”
“Great,” she mutters. “Just what I want to be. A puzzle.”
“You know what I mean,” I sigh, exasperated. “I saw the way you responded to him too. You light up around him. When was the last time anyone made you feel that way?”
She’s quiet for a moment, considering. “Mark, maybe. But look how that turned out.”
“Not every guy is Mark,” I remind her gently. “And you can’t judge every potential relationship by the failures of the past ones.”
Lennon leans back against the couch cushions, staring up at the ceiling. “That’s easy for you to say. You found a good one on your first try.”
I can’t help but laugh at that. “First try? Have you forgotten about Jake Peterson? Or Tyler from college? Or that disastrous date with the guy from the coffee shop?”
“Okay, point taken,” she concedes with a small smile. “But still, what you and Devlin have, it happened so fast, and it seems so solid already. That’s not normal, Atlee.”
“Maybe not,” I acknowledge. “But it’s real, and I almost missed out on it because I was scared.”
“Scared?” She looks surprised. “You’ve never been scared of anything.”
“That’s not true, and you know it,” I counter. “I was terrified of getting involved with Devlin at first. He seemed so intense, so…much. But taking that risk was the best decision I ever made.”
Lennon studies me for a long moment. “You really love him, don’t you?”
“I do,” I say simply. “And I can’t help thinking that maybe you’re missing out on that same feeling because you’re too afraid to take a chance.”
“It’s not just fear,” she insists. “It’s self-preservation. You know what happened with Mom and Dad. The way they tore each other apart. What if that’s our inheritance? What if we’rejust wired to pick the wrong people, to turn love into something toxic?”
