The way she says the words immediately put me on edge.
It also clears some things up for me.
Like why my assets make her leery. Knowing she’s been ruined by one rich cock who tore her up and tossed her away like nothing.
“Clueless girl that I was, I fell so hard,” she says. “Faster than I’ve ever fallen in my life. When he started turning, like you say, it was easy to lie to myself. It’s hard to spot the asshole if you think there’s just sunshine up his butt.” Her smile slips. “I was a kid, really. I didn’t know any better. So, when he started to show his temper, when he’d yell at me, I just ...”
I jerk her closer, pinning her to my chest. I’ll hold her all damn night if that’s what she needs to collect her thoughts.
But a minute later, she looks at me again, her smile so broken now.
“I folded. I never should’ve done it, I know that now. But I’d let him throw tantrums, telling myself he was just stressed. Nothing a little therapy couldn’t cure, someday. And when he’d throw my stuff around and break my dishes, he’d apologize later, and I thought his cooler side would win out. God, I wasstupid.”
“We all make mistakes.”
“My biggest weakness was the way I would’ve done anything for him. And heknewthat. He took advantage of it, he—” She chokes off.
“Hey, hey.” I rub her arms, slowly and gently, feeling the way the tension drains from her. “It’s okay, take your time.”
“Everyone should know what a scumbag he is.”
“Then I’ll broadcast it nationwide.” When she doesn’t smile, I kiss the top of her head. “Kidding. I won’t say a word unless you want me to. How long were you with him?”
“Too long. Between him sweeping me off my feet and me believing every lie, he had me wrapped around his finger even when things started to suck. I thought we’d get married one day and find a place of our own. All the fairy tales a young girl wants to believe. When you only have that growing up, you don’t know you’re with an abuser until he’s crushing you. Silly, I know.”
“It’s really not. You think the only people who believe in smoke and mirrors come from—what did you call it? Folks just getting by?” It’s an effort not to brush my knuckles across her cheek. “It’s what we all want, Lena, rich or poor. A universal fantasy we’ll pay a seriously fucked-up price to have.”
The older I get, the more I see it, because that’s what I want.
Not to be trapped in a never-ending media circus I have to fight and claw my way out of.
“The next part is the worst.” She clears her throat. “Please don’t say anything until I’m done?”
“Sure,” I promise.
“It happened on his boat, and it was the final straw.” Her voice is distant. “Harry was kinda depraved. He always wanted me to let him film us while we were—you know.”
I hate that I do.
And the knot of fury in my chest snowballs when I hear it.
Tearing that asshole’s suit jacket wasn’t nearly far enough. I should have busted his head open.
“At the time, I didn’t think much of it, not at first.” Her eyes are glassy, staring at the floor like she can’t bear to face me.
Like I’ll judge her for what happened.
I have to bite my lip to avoid interrupting.
“I just wanted to make him happy. But then he went cold. He took a trip to Florida, and he was barely answering my texts. Then theboys on campus started staring at me. Laughing behind my back. Deep down, I knew, even though I didn’t.”
Oh.
Oh shit.
I clench my fists so hard my knuckles pop.
“About a week passed with radio silence from him. They started calling me ‘boat brat’ when they’d whisper, and—it wasn’t hard to go home and type it in.” Her voice hitches, head dipping as she struggles to breathe through it.
