“Let me do this for you,” I rasp, running the towel between her silky-smooth thighs as I lean in to kiss her. “Perfetta, so beautiful.” We spend another ten minutes in the bathroom, making out. When my cock starts getting a little too eager, I push back. “Let’s get something into you.”
“You mean other than you?”
I choke back a laugh. “Yes, other than me.”
The air is easy between us as we head for the kitchen. “Mama said you didn’t take any painkillers this morning,” she says, taking slower steps to keep pace with me. “How are you feeling now?”
“There’s a dull throb, but I’ll be fine in no time. You’re an excellent doctor.” I turn to her just in time to watch twin spots paint her cheeks and those long lashes flutter with pleasure. “This is not the first time I’ve been shot, you know.”
“Yeah, you seem to like flirting with trouble.”
“That I do,” I agree and realize I’m still doing it by staying around her.
The kitchen is empty when we make it there. I grin when my sexy littledottoressainstructs me to sit as she fixes us lunch. I offer to help, but one glare has me chuckling as I sit back to watch her. She moves around with ease, humming as she grabs the utensils to prepare what I assume is a panini from the ingredients she takes out of the fridge.
I watch her prepare it, and as the smell of food fills the kitchen, I find I'm more hungry for her. I ignore her order and walk to her, wrapping an arm around her waist and dipping my face into her neck. “I had no idea you could cook.”
She laughs, “It’s just a grilled sandwich and soup, Antonio. Besides, Luca is a better cook than I am. He spent a lot of time in the kitchen with Mama growing up while I was holed up in the library.”
“I still think…" My voice trails off when I catch the sound of footsteps approaching the kitchen and, instinctively, jolt away from Emilia, creating distance between us. As my head turns to the entrance, there are a few beats of silence before my father walks in, That only pushes me into stepping further away from Emilia.
“Hmm, something smells good,” he says, but the smile on his face falls when he turns to Emilia. “Cara,is something the matter?”
I follow his gaze to Emilia, and my heart nearly stops at the tears I see in her eyes. The devastation I see on her face. I take a step forward, but she takes one back, not meeting my eyes. “I’m sorry, Leonardo," she sniffs, dropping the cheese she was holding onto the counter. "You’ll have to excuse me. I forgot to…do something.”
“Emilia!” he calls out, but she’s already fleeing the kitchen. We both watch her disappear before my father turns to me, so I wait for the tongue lashing. My father has always treated Emilia and Luca no differently than he has his own children, and I know he has a soft spot for Emilia as he does Gabriella. But he doesn’t immediately say anything. Instead, he walks toward me and takes the chair by the kitchen counter. “You should finish that since you chased away the woman making your lunch.”
With a sigh, I limp to the counter to continue where Emilia left off. For a while, neither one of us says a word to the other until I’m done.
“She deserves better,” I start, passing my father a plate, but I don’t make one for myself, uncertain if I can stomach food, all things considered.
“Then be better,” he says, grabbing his panini and taking a bite, humming and nodding at the taste. “This sandwich wouldn’t have tasted this good if Emilia hadn’t started it.”
And then he turns those cold eyes to mine. “What are you so afraid of?”
“Losing her and myself in the process,” I respond honestly.
“Aaah,” he hums, taking yet another bite of his sandwich, mulling over my words as he chews. “You were closer to your mother than your brothers were; I forget that sometimes. You inherited most of her features too and took it the hardest when we lost her.”
“It wasn’t easy for any of us.”
He nods somberly. “No, it wasn’t, but your brothers found different ways to cope with her loss that you couldn’t. Matteo threw himself into his studies—determined to prove he was ready to lead someday. Dante channeled everything into sports, training until he collapsed. And Lorenzo...well, he discovered computers and disappeared into that world." He chuckles, but the sound is dry, empty of mirth. "But you couldn’t move on. That’s why you won’t let yourself love that poor girl when it’s so clear to everyone else that she has feelings for you.”
I run a hand through my hair and turn away, staring at the cheese Emilia dropped earlier. "It would kill me to lose someone the way you lost Mama. It nearly killedyou. Emilia…she’s…” Igrab a fistful of my hair and yank hard, wanting to replace the ache in my chest with something more physical. A pain I can actually deal with. “I’ve never had these feelings for another woman as I do with Emilia. She makes me think about building a home with her, starting a family, but how can I love her and risk my heart if I ever lose her? I would not survive it!"
The room falls silent as the words hang between us. The heaviness bears down on me until all I want is to go outside and just run until my heart isn’t aching anymore and the pounding in my head isn’t filled with memories I wish I could bury forever. Feelings I would do anything to be rid of.
Feelings for a woman I can’t have.Feelings I can’t control.
“Your mother and I were married for almost twenty years before she died. If I could go back in time, I wouldn’t change a thing, even knowing that fate would steal her from me.” I turn to look at my father, surprise written on my face. “Even knowing the pain it would cause me and the years it would take me to come to peace with her memories, I would still go back and do everything the same. I would still fall in love with the young Italian woman who barely spoke any English but loved books. I would build her this home and give her that library and the atrium and have you kids with her, including my little princess. I would love her every single day and celebrate every year I got to spend with her and mourn every year I spent alone.”
“But Estella…”
“It took me twenty years to love again. Antonia was my first love, my wife and the mother of my five children. The love I had for your mother will never fade. That kind of love never does,” he says, his voice wistful. “A part of me believes that Antonia brought Estella and me together. She brought her into my life so I could finally heal and find love again. And that’s whatI want for my children too. Matteo is already married to Sofia, and Dante is with Gia, and now, there’s only you and Lorenzo left.”
“You forgot Gabriella,” I tease, a smile cracking when he glares at me.
“No, I did not,” he grumbles, eyes firing up as he always does when someone mentions the baby of the family. Always fiercely protective of her. “Gabriella has all the time in the world to settle down.”
