Sky swallowed back the tears that burned her eyes and bit her lip hard to distract herself from the pain growing in her midsection.The emotions were overwhelming her, and he showed no affection toward her when she was at her most vulnerable.She didn’t know how it worked, but she didn’t think him turning his back on her was normal.
She choked back a sob when Jared stood and silently walked into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.
****
Jared closed the doorbefore turning on the light.He moved to the counter and used his hands and arms to lean over it and look at himself in the mirror.His expression showed disgust.Not in her, in himself.Fuck.He was so fucked.He’d never felt closer to another person in his life.The sex he’d had before was satisfying, but it had never moved him, made him feel the emotions Sky pulled from him unintentionally.
He looked down and caught sight of her blood mixed with his semen, and it about set him off.
Dread ate at him.He washed his privates and then bent and splashed cold water on his face.He just needed to stay away from her as much as possible, and when they had sex, he needed to go as quickly as possible, so the emotions didn’t have time to creep in.Or he could always move her to another bedroom altogether.The thought of not having her next to him at night was too much for him to give up at that moment.He would just distance himself and keep busy.
He walked back into the bedroom and quietly slid into his side of the bed.Jared rested back, listened, and hoped she was sleeping.He didn’t detect any unsettled breathing or movement, so he relaxed.Several minutes passed until sleep pulled him down.His last thought before sleep claimed him was of her.
****
Sky kept her breathingdeep and steady, waiting for him to go to sleep.When she was sure he was asleep, she stood and quietly made her way into the bedroom across the hall and took a quick shower.It lasted longer than she had planned when a bout of crying overtook her.The emotional pain pulled her down to the bottom of the shower as she let the tears loose.What had she done to make him turn away from her?Sky thought he felt at least some of the emotions she had been feeling at the time.Maybe she’d been lying to herself, so she’d feel less alone.
Many minutes later, Sky pulled herself up, turning off the water and drying herself thoroughly before putting on the robe hanging on the back of the door.She quietly moved back into the master bedroom.Sky couldn’t make herself lie down next to him just yet and took a throw blanket to one of the large chairs by the window and curled up.Sleep overtook her as the gray light of the moon came through the part in the curtains.
****
Jared woke in the middleof the night when he reached for her, and her side was cold.He levered himself up on an elbow and saw her instantly.He opened his mouth to call to her but stopped.He knew if she came back to bed, he’d have her under him again, and she’d be far too sore to take him again.
He would discuss the situation with her in the afternoon the following day.Right now, the emotions were still too high for both of them.A feeling of shame swept through him as he lay back down.He could tell she was unhappy and couldn’t be very comfortable curled up in the chair, but he couldn’t bring himself to have her near him right then.It felt like he was fighting some internal battle with himself that he knew he couldn’t lose, but also never win.
Chapter Fourteen
The next few weekswent by in the same way, every day.She would see Jared at dinner, where they would talk about nothing important.He would send her to bed early and join her for an hour or so later.He would make sure she was ready, tuck her under him right away, and join them together.He would pump into her several times before climaxing, then immediately roll over and go to sleep.She would get up, shower, and try to get some rest, whether in a chair or, once, even her old bed.
He’d put a stop to that instantly.He didn’t want her out of the room.If she slept in the chair, it didn’t seem to matter as long as she was in the room.The few times she was able to sleep in the same bed, she woke with his arms wrapped around her.Those were the times she deluded herself with thoughts that he might actually care for her.
Sky took each moment as it came, dealing with whatever emotions were there at the time.She finished organizing the books in the library and started a few online classes.She was also working out to Zumba DVDs every morning.She tried different things to keep busy, so she didn’t have time to think, and she also reminded herself that the situation she was in was far better than the one with her father.That always helped settle her for a moment.
Sky’s nerves seemed to grow tighter as the days passed.Not only was she dealing with her feelings for Jared, but her father had started to call her every other day and demand money or to see her.The thought of him near her made her shake uncontrollably, and it took hours for her nerves to settle.
Sometimes, when she was tired, thoughts of her childhood would penetrate the wall she tried to erect to protect herself from them.She had to keep telling herself she was better off on the ranch, because at least she wasn’t getting beaten, and she actually had a woman to talk to.
