“I’ve got you,” he murmurs into my hair. “I’ve got you. Just breathe.”
But I can’t breathe. I can’t do anything except sob and bleed and pray to a God I’m not sure is listening that I haven’t just killed Alexei’s baby through my own selfishness and weakness.
Time becomes meaningless. It could be minutes or hours that we sit there, Dimitri holding me while I fall apart in his arms. He keeps murmuring reassurances I don’t believe and pressing kisses to my temple like that will somehow make this better.
It won’t. Nothing will.
Because if I lose this baby, it’s my fault. It’s my punishment for having feelings for the wrong brother
The door crashes open and Dr. Petrov rushes in, medical bag in hand. He’s still wearing pajamas under his coat. His hair is wild and his face creased from sleep.
“What happened?” he demands, already pulling out his equipment.
“Bleeding,” Dimitri says tightly. “Severe cramping. She’s twelve weeks?—”
“I know how far along she is.” Dr. Petrov sets up quickly. “Mrs. Volkov, I need you to lie back for me. Mr. Volkov, I need you to step back.”
“No.” Dimitri’s arms tighten around me.
“Dimitri—”
“I’m not leaving her,” Dimitri says icily.
Dr. Petrov looks like he wants to argue, but one glance at Dimitri’s face has him nodding tersely. “Fine. But stay out of my way.”
If this wasn’t such a dire situation, I would have laughed at how the kindly doctor easily bosses Dimitri around.
Dr Petrov helps me lie back against the pillows. The towel between my legs is soaked through, more red than white and my stomach cramps again. I whimper, reaching blindly for Dimitri’s hand.
He catches it and holds on so tight it almost hurts.
“I need to do an examination,” Dr. Petrov says gently. “And then an ultrasound.” He meets my eyes. “It’s going to be uncomfortable, but I need to see what’s happening.”
I nod, but I can’t stop crying. I can’t stop thinkingplease, please, pleaseon repeat like a prayer.
The examination is torture. Every touch sends fresh cramps through my abdomen. More blood wells up, and I hear Dimitri suck in a sharp breath beside me.
“Heavy bleeding,” Dr. Petrov mutters, more to himself than us. “Significant cramping. Let’s see what the ultrasound shows.”
He squirts cold gel on my stomach and presses the wand against my skin. The room fills with static—white noise that makes my heart pound so hard I feel it in my throat.
Please. Please let the baby be okay. I’ll do anything. I’ll never touch Dimitri again. I’ll lock myself in my room and stay away from him. I’ll be faithful to Alexei’s memory like I should have been all along. Just please?—
A sound breaks through the static.
Thump-thump. Thump-thump. Thump-thump.
Fast and steady and beautiful.
A heartbeat.
“There,” Dr. Petrov says, and there’s clear and palpable relief in his voice. “What a wonderful sound to hear. The heartbeat sounds perfect.”
I make a sound that’s half-sob, half-laugh. Dimitri’s hand squeezes mine so hard my bones grind together.
“The baby’s okay?” he asks hoarsely.
“The baby is fine.” Dr. Petrov moves the wand, and suddenly there’s an image on the screen. Grainy and gray, but unmistakably human-shaped. Tiny arms and legs. A large head. “See? All measurements are normal for twelve weeks. There’s active movement.”
