"Is that for us?" she asks.
"Yeah, my men set it up before we got here," I say, reaching for one of the waterproof bags. I hand the pink one to Grace. She opens it to find a rolled-up towel, a bathing suit, and a change of clothes like I requested.
She pulls out a pair of flip-flops with seashells printed on them.
"These are so cute." She smiles at them.
The strange feeling hits me in the center of my chest again.
This is what I imagine my father felt when he first saw my mother. It feels like the world itself has stopped spinning. Everything that used to matter to me doesn't mean much anymore.
I bury that feeling in the deepest recesses of my mind.
There's no space for these feelings in my world. I can't allow them to exist in the first place.
"Why?" she asks.
"Why what?" I say.
"Why go out of your way to be nice to me?" she asks. "I'm already your prisoner. I have no choice but to do what you want me to."
"It's been a long day," I say. "For you and for me. I just thought it would be a nice way to end the day."
She stares at me for a moment too long.
"Stop trying to figure me out, Grace," I say. "I'm a straightforward man. What you see is what you get."
"It's just...kindness always comes at a cost," she whispers. "Even when you think it's different, it's still the same."
Her words cut me like a knife.
I'm not supposed to be feeling sympathetic toward her, but it's established that this girl is my weakness. And if I'm not careful, she could become my undoing.
"I'm going for a swim," I say, turning away from her.
I change into my swim trunks under a towel and head toward the soft blue water.
Everything inside me is alive and ablaze. It doesn't cool until half of me is covered in clear blue water. I swim farther away from the shore, letting the salt absorb everything that's been weighing on me.
Her words continue to haunt my head.
Kindness comes at a cost.
I didn't climb the ranks by second-guessing my every decision.
I always had a higher vision in mind. I was always capable of cruelty and callousness. I always had a one-track mind that didn't run in a hundred different directions.
But now...
I turn to look at her. She's still standing on the beach, looking so beautiful that it makes my eyes burn. It makes everything burn.
This need for her is its own entity.
It has lungs. It has fangs. It hashunger.
Even though she's standing so far away from me, it's like our bodies are connected with a string. It's like our hearts have started to beat as one.
Good lord, I'm in trouble.
