The message was unmistakable. He wasn't just suspicious. He was warning her. Letting her know that he was watching, that he would be scrutinizing her recommendations for any sign of favoritism, that any attempt to protect Isla would be used against them both.
"I appreciate your concern." Marianne forced the words out through a throat that felt like it was closing. "But I assure you, my judgment is not compromised."
"Good." Shaw stood, smoothing his jacket with deliberate precision. "Then we won't have any problems. I look forward to seeing your recommendations on Friday."
He paused at the door, turning back with a smile that didn't reach his eyes. "Oh, and Ms. Cole? If you ever need someone to talk to about the... pressures of this job, my door is always open. Sometimes it helps to have someone who understands the difficult choices we have to make."
The offer was clearly a trap. An invitation to confide that would only give him more ammunition.
"That's very kind. I'll keep it in mind."
The threat was clear even if the words were carefully chosen. Shaw was putting her on notice. He suspected something, and he would be watching for any sign that confirmed his suspicions.
After he left, Marianne sat motionless at her desk for a long time. Her hands were trembling slightly, a physical manifestation of the fear that was spreading through her chest.
Shaw knew. Maybe not everything, but enough. He had seen something in her behavior, some tell that she hadn't been careful enough to hide. And now he was circling, watching, waiting for confirmation.
She thought about all the precautions they had taken. The separate arrivals and departures. The burner phones. The careful maintenance of professional distance in public. They had been so careful.
But not careful enough, apparently.
The trap was closing around her from multiple directions. The board wanted blood. Shaw was watching her every move. Alexandra expected recommendations that would destroy Isla's career. And somewhere in the hospital, Isla was working and laughing and trusting that the woman she had opened her heart to would protect her.
Marianne looked at her phone. At the text thread with Isla. At the heart emoji that represented something fragile and precious and absolutely impossible to sustain.
She should tell Isla what was happening. Should warn her about Shaw's suspicions, about the board's demands, about the impossible position they were both in. Isla deserved to know. Deserved the chance to prepare for what was coming.
But what would that accomplish? It would only add to Isla's stress without changing anything about the situation. The board would still demand their pound of flesh. Shaw would still be watching. The outcome would be the same no matter how much warning either of them had.
So Marianne said nothing. Kept her secrets. Added another layer of deception to the growing pile that separated her from the woman she loved.
She had been fooling herself. Had believed that they could somehow navigate this, could find a way to have both their careers and each other. But that had always been a fantasy. A delusion she had clung to because the alternative was too painful to contemplate.
The reality was that she was going to have to choose.
Her career, which she had rebuilt from nothing after Riverside General. The professional reputation she had spent years constructing. The financial stability that let her sleep at night without worrying about rent or bills or the hundred small emergencies that could derail a life.
Or Isla. The woman who had broken through every wall Marianne had built. The woman who made her feel alive in ways she had forgotten were possible. The woman she loved, even though she had never said the words aloud.
There was no way to have both. The board would see her defense of Isla as proof of compromised judgment. Shaw would use any appearance of favoritism to destroy her credibility. And if she protected her career by sacrificing Isla, she would lose herself in the process.
Marianne sat at her desk as the sun set outside her window, painting the Los Angeles skyline in shades of orange and pink. The city spread out before her, millions of lives unfolding in their own private dramas, none of them knowing or caring about the impossible choice she faced.
She thought about San Diego. About the morning she had woken up in Isla's arms and felt, for the first time in years, like she might actually be happy. Like the future might hold something more than survival and self-protection.
That hope felt very far away now.
The phone buzzed again. Isla, wondering if she was okay. Isla, who had no idea what was coming.
Marianne typed back a lie. I'm fine. Just tired. See you soon.
Then she turned back to her files and started drafting the recommendations that would destroy everything she cared about.
And no matter what she chose, someone was going to get destroyed.
12
MARIANNE
