Maggie set the journal down with shaking hands.
She’d spent six years telling herself she’d done everything she could. That Sarah’s death wasn’t something she could have prevented. That grief was just the price of love.
But she’d never let herself see the truth buried in these pages: that her need to control everything had made Sarah feel managed instead of loved. That in trying so hard not to lose her, Maggie had already been losing her.
And now she was doing the same thing to Evie.
The realization hit like a physical blow.
You’re protecting yourself,Evie had said.
She was right.
Maggie wasn’t protecting Evie from consequences. She was protecting herself from the terrifying vulnerability of letting someone in completely. Of risking not just her career, but her heart.
Of admitting that she’d fallen in love again and had no idea how to do it without trying to control every variable.
Her phone buzzed.
She grabbed it too quickly, hoping for Evie.
Instead:Reminder: Ethics training registration due by Friday
Maggie threw the phone onto the couch and pressed her palms against her eyes.
She needed help.
Real help.
The kind she’d been avoiding for three years.
***
Doctor Rachel Kim’s office was exactly as Maggie remembered—warm lighting, comfortable chairs, a desk with nothing on it except a box of tissues and a small succulent that had somehow survived three years of Maggie’s absence.
“It’s been a while,” Doctor Kim said, settling into her chair across from Maggie.
“Three years.” Maggie’s voice came out rougher than she intended.
“Three years,” Kim echoed. “What brings you back to therapy?”
Maggie had practiced this on the drive over. Had planned what to say, how to frame it, what details to include.
But sitting here, in this room where she’d spent two years after Sarah died learning how to function again, all the careful planning fell away.
“I fell in love,” Maggie said. “And I destroyed it, in a nutshell. So yeah, I guess I’m here to sort out my head and not push more good things away. If it’s not too late.”
Kim’s expression didn’t change. “Tell me about her.”
So Maggie did.
She talked for twenty minutes without stopping—about Evie’s sharp mind and sharper mouth, about the way she challenged Maggie without being reckless, about how shestayedin moments Maggie usually fled. About the café conversation and the on-call room and everything that came after. How everything about her drew her in like a moth to a flame.
About how Maggie had chosen fear over courage. Again.
When she finally stopped, Kim was quiet for a long moment.
“You’re smiling,” Kim said finally.
