“You’ve been quiet,” she says. No hello. No, how are you. Typical Tanya.
“I’ve been busy.”
“Girl, please. You’ve been hiding.”
Silence.
“Ina, talk to me. And don’t you dare say you’re fine.”
I lean back in my chair, staring at the ceiling, and everything just comes out.
“He told me he wants me permanently, Tanya. Kids, marriage, a whole life. He said it over breakfast. After one night.”
“Okay. And?”
“And?! That’s crazy! I’ve known the man three days!”
“So? Bobby proposed after six weeks. We’ve been married fourteen years.”
“That’s different.”
“How?”
“Because you’re not broken!”
It comes out louder than I mean it to, sharp and painful, and the line goes quiet before I hear Tanya exhale.
“Okay,” she says softer now. “We’re doing this. Hold on.” I hear rustling, then a door closing. “Alright. I’m in the bathroom.The kids can’t distract me. Now talk to me. How do you feel about him?”
“Terrified.”
“That’s not what I asked, and you know it. How do you feel aboutBeau?”
I close my eyes, my voice coming out barely above a whisper. “Like he might be the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
“Then what the fuck is the problem?”
“The problem is, I felt that way about Mark once. And look how that turned out. Twenty years, two kids, and a divorce that damn near killed me.”
“Mmm… does Beau remind you of Mark? Even a little?”
My response is instant. “No.”
“Does he make you feel like Mark made you feel?”
“No. He makes me feel like…” I stop and swallow. “Like I’m precious, like I matter. Like he’d burn the world down before he let something hurt me.”
“So you’ve got a man who treats you like gold, looks at you like you’re the only woman alive, and told you he wants forever. And your response is to hide on your ranch?”
I almost smile. “When you put it like that…”
“I’m putting it like that because that’s what you’re doing.” She lets out another sigh. “Babe, listen. I love you, but you need to hear this.” She pauses. “Mark was a narcissistic piece of shit who married you because you made him look good and cheated because he’s a weak little man who couldn’t keep his dick in his pants. That’s on him. Not you. You didn’t fail. He did.”
My throat tightens.
“And Beau Redding is not Mark. That man hasn’t looked at another woman in this town since he moved back. Not one. Then you show up and suddenly he’s crossing dance floors and showing up on porches. Girl.” She lets out a laugh. “That’s not aman running game. That’s a man who found his person and is too damn smart to play around about it.”
“What if he gets bored?” I whisper. “What if the age gap starts to matter? What if I can’t give him babies and he…”
