Four hours left, I reminded myself as I dragged myself out of my office after lunch.
I made my way through the exhibit we were opening in a few days, checking that labels were affixed to the right pieces of art and that the laborers were hanging the frames perfectly straight and that the flow had the right vibes. There were a few paintings that needed to be swapped around, because they were next to other loud pieces that made that bit of wall feel almost overwhelming. Not the right fit for a museum.
I was studying another series of paintings when I felt someone watching me. I ignored it until I couldn’t. When I finally turned around, I saw Matt leaning against the arched frame that led to the gallery, watching me from across the velvet rope that closed it off to the general public. He gave me a tentative smile, and I knew that the moment had come hours earlier than I’d planned.
There was no avoiding it.
It was time to talk about that kiss.
5
“You’redistractedagain,”Holden’stinny voice sounded over my phone’s speaker.
I was supposed to be working on that big project I had on my plate. He was supposed to be drawing art for a tattoo appointment he had later that day. Instead, we’d been chatting on the phone for almost an hour. He’d told me about the guy Eli had brought home the night before. Apparently, they’d been loud. Really loud. Like Holden was telling me that he was playing a game of “Guess the Position”, which went beyond anything I could imagine. I didn’t know how he handled living with Eli sometimes.
I wasn’t contributing much to the conversation. My mind was still on that kiss with Noah from the night before. He’d looked so wounded when I’d suggested he go home instead of come upstairs with me. I spent most of the night staring at my computer screen before pulling up codes on a crowd sourcing site and adding documentation while an episode ofGleeplayed in the background.
It was a level four crisis.
Gleewas still playing, which was probably a red flag to Holden. My friends knew I only watched that show when I had things on my mind. Except that the off-the-wall show choir from Ohio wasn’t doing anything to make me feel better, and I couldn’t focus on Holden or the project I was supposed to be working on. I had a small army of rubber ducks around me, and instead of feeling comforted by their presence, I felt judged by their little painted eyes.
If the ducks could talk, I was pretty sure the light purple one, the one that I always pulled out first when I needed to talk through a coding problem, would be offering the advice of talking it out. I didn’t even have to talk it out with the ducks. I could talk it out with Holden, someone who could actually give me feedback.
“Noah and I kissed last night,” I finally said. The words felt like they were being dragged out of me. “Don’t tell Eli, okay? Don’t tell anyone. Not yet. Not until I figure things out.”
“Figure what out?”
“How I felt about the kiss?” Holden was quiet on the other end of the phone. I’d made the right choice of who to talk to about this. He wouldn’t pry until he felt like it was necessary. He would let me sit in silence for a few moments while I tried to think about how I felt about the kiss. “I liked it. He’s a really good kisser. He’s gotten better at kissing, and he was always an amazing kisser. Except then he wanted to go upstairs, and I just knew I was going to regret it. So, I told him no, and he looked so hurt, Holden.”
“And now you feel bad cuz you hurt him?”
“Yes.” I sighed.
“Have you talked to him since the kiss?”
“No.”
“You should. Otherwise, you’re just going to watchGleeall day, and no one wants to witness you go on another binge of that show.”
I laughed and agreed. I needed to talk to Noah, and I needed to do it now. If I waited, I’d overthink it, and then I’d talk myself out of it. “I’m going to go. To the museum, I mean. I’m going to go to the museum and talk to him now.”
“Good. I’m going to go try to figure out how to put this prompt into art. Call me later?”
“Promise.”
An hour later, I was at the museum. It didn’t take long to find the exhibit Noah was setting up or to spot him among the workers in the open room. He looked completely in his element, directing a team of people moving the paintings around and stepping back to study different elements of the room. I could have stood there watching him for hours.
That was the boy I remembered from high school. He’d always been so certain, and he’d always had an eye for how things should look.
I probably would have watched him until he was finished if he hadn’t turned and spotted me. I saw the slow smile spread across his face, and I lifted my hand to offer a small wave. He whispered something to one of the guys who was setting up the exhibit and walked over toward me.
“If you’re busy, I can come back,” I told him as he approached.
“No.” He reached down and unlatched the thick, red velvet rope from across the door. He stepped around it and secured the rope back in place. “I think we need to talk.”
“We do,” I agreed. “Lead the way?”
I expected him to lead me toward the offices, but instead, we stepped into one of the open galleries. We walked in silence at first, studying the paintings on the wall and the sculptures that lined the room. Every once in a while, he’d offer up some fact about one of the pieces, something that he’d learned with his art history degree or maybe just knew from his job at the museum.
