I grit my teeth and shove my mom’s voice out of my head. He’s giving me so much food because he’s worried about me being hungry, not because he thinks I eat too much. There’s nothing wrong with my body or my eating habits—just a lot wrong with how she always treated me.
Or, at least, that’s what I try to tell myself as I quietly thank Remy for the food.
Even though part of me wants to refuse to eat, I know I have to. At the first bite of the perfectly scrambled eggs, I moan. I know it’s just hunger talking, but I don’t think I’ve ever tasted anything more delicious than the cheesy, eggy concoction in my entire life.
A low growl sounds from in front of me, cutting off all the chatter at the table. My gaze flicks up to find the source of the sound and connects with a liquid gold one. Azrael’s watching me intently as my fork with another bite pushes between my lips. He’s looking at me almost hungrily, and I freeze in surprise.
Before I can say anything, he shakes himself out of it and glares at his plate as he continues eating.
Wondering what I did to piss him off will get me nowhere, so I continue digging into my food. Whichever one of them cooked this should consider being a professional chef because they’re one hell of a cook.
“How are you feeling, sweetheart?” Colt asks after I’ve devoured all the eggs and start on the greasy, crispy bacon.
“A lot better than I was. Sleeping really helped.” My gaze unconsciously darts over to Azrael to find him already watching me.
“Good. I was worried about you.” Colt surprises me by gently grasping my chin and forcing me to look up at him. The anger and worry and heartache I see burning in his icy blue eyes makes my breath stall in my chest. “Don’t ever do that to me again.”
“Do what?” I breathe.
“Almost give me a heart attack with your cryptic call and the scene we found in your apartment. That hour I spent wondering if I’d ever see you alive again was the worst of my life.” Colt closes his eyes for a moment, seeming to try to get himself under control.
My heart hurts that I made him worry so much. “I’m sorry.”
He shakes his head and opens his wintery eyes once more to focus his intense gaze on me. “Don’t apologize. Just try to understand how damn much I need you to be okay, sweetheart. How much I need you to be safe. Because I need it more than I need my next breath, more than I need anything else.”
After bouncing my gaze between his for a long moment, I nod the best I can with him still holding my head in place. “I’ll try, Colt.”
Seeming satisfied, he lets go of my chin, and we resume eating. His words bounce around my head the entire time I’m finishing my breakfast. I can’t figure out why any of them care as much as they do.
I know we’re friends now, but it sometimes feels like they want a hell of a lot more than that from me. Hal and Remy have even said so explicitly.
And the truth is, I want more from them, too, but I don’t know how to do that. I don’t know how to let them in, especially when I don’t understand why they’d want someone like me.
By the time I finally set down my fork, the rest of the table is done eating. The guys are chatting and laughing amongst themselves, seeming far more relaxed than they normally do. Even Azrael is joining in on the bantering.
Maybe it’s being on their home turf that puts them so at ease. Whatever the reason for it, I like seeing them like this.
“So, you ready to finally find out what you are?” Hal asks.
I give him a droll look. “You know I am. I would’ve been happy to skip breakfast and find out sooner.”
He rolls his eyes. “Nah, you needed to eat to refuel. But we can go now, as long as you’re done.”
“Yep. I’m good to go.” Pushing up from my chair, I turn around to take my plate to the kitchen to rinse it off.
Rook stops me before I can get more than a few steps. He takes the plate from my hand and piles it on top of his. “I’ve got it, dove. Just sit while we clean up. It shouldn’t be more than a few minutes before we’re ready to go.”
Already knowing it’s no use to argue with him, I wander over to their living room and plop down on the navy sectional. I curiously inspect their house as they clean up breakfast.
I can see little touches of each of them everywhere. Colorful Post-it notes are stuck on a few random surfaces. Empty Skittle wrappers are crumpled in an open trash can. A few tennis balls, like the ones Remy carries everywhere, sit on the walnut entryway table. A bag of baseball gear hangs on the hooks next to the garage.
The only one I don’t see little parts of is Azrael, but I’m not really surprised. He’s a hard man to get to know, and I doubt he’s leaving little reminders of himself anywhere.
“You mind walking?” Colt asks, breaking me out of my thoughts. I hadn’t even heard him approach the sofa. “It should only be about twenty minutes from here.”
“Nope. I’m good with that.” I hop up and follow the guys out of the house and down the driveway.
We pass through their front gate and begin walking through the woods. At this time of year, the trees are a riot of color, with some of them beginning to lose their leaves. It’s breathtaking.
