The other part of me doesn’t know if I can survive him calling me pathetic or spineless right now. Not when I’m still raw from a memory that I, selfishly, wish had stayed buried.
He doesn’t say anything as his gaze traces over my face. He frowns at whatever he sees.
Surprising me, Azrael bands his arms around me and crushes me to his chest. “I’m not good with words,” he rasps. “But after a nightmare, I don’t want pretty promises or false reassurance that it’ll get better. I just want to feel safe. Is that what you want, little bird?”
While I stiffen at the move at first, I quickly relax into his hold. Laying my head on his shoulder, I let him take my weight, no longer having the strength to support myself.
I nod against him. My lips brush against his neck as I breathe, “Yeah.”
“Then know this,” he rumbles into my hair, “I have fought thousands upon thousands of opponents and won. I have survived countless challenges for my alpha position, defeated enemy valors who wanted to take over our lands, and won battles when my forces and I were outnumbered twenty to one. As long as you’re in my arms, nothing and no one can hurt you.”
His voice is so strong and certain that I have no choice but to believe him.
Unfortunately, it’s not enemies or assailants I need protection from. It’s my own actions and the remorse that will haunt me until I’m six feet under.
“What about when it’s the past I’m afraid of?” I ask in a shaky voice. “What if it’s my own mind I need to be protected from?”
“I said nothing will hurt you. That includes yourself. I will wake you up at the first sign of nightmares. I swear it to you. Now rest, little bird. Let your body heal itself so you can live to fight another day.”
“I’m scared,” I admit in a small voice.
Azrael’s arms tighten around me, and he starts soothingly running one of his hands up and down my back. “I know. I’m afraid to close my eyes most nights, so I don’t sleep much. But you need the rest, Lark. So, trust me to keep you safe, if only for tonight.”
If I were less of a mess, I’d be surprised that the huge, tatted-up biker fears anything, let alone sleeping like I do. But, right now, all I feel is seen and a little less alone.
Stalling to avoid having to go back to sleep and have another nightmare, I ask, “Why do you hate me?”
He sighs, his warm breath ruffling my hair as he does so. “I don’t hate you. I never have. I just can’t afford a… complication like you in my life. It’s best for both of us if I keep my distance.”
I know he’s right, but apparently neither of us can stay away. “Then why are you holding me right now?”
He’s silent for so long that I pull back to look at him. His eyes are squeezed shut as he reluctantly admits, “Because I can’t stand to see you hurting, little bird.” His eyes blink open, and he reaches his hand up to push my head back down onto his shoulder. “Now stop stalling and go to sleep.”
His chest rattles with a low purring sound that instantly relaxes every muscle in my body. My eyes close before I realize what’s happening. I drift off before I have the chance to work myself up about it, feeling safer than I ever have, thanks to Azrael’s arms wrapped around me.
CHAPTER 31
LARK
Lark
I wake up slowly and debate going back to sleep. Eventually, I open my eyes and realize I’m in an unfamiliar room.
It takes me a moment to remember where I am. When I do, I’m unsurprised but slightly disappointed not to see Azrael anywhere. I didn’t actually expect him to hold me the entire time, but part of me hoped he would.
“Good morning, sleeping beauty,” Hal chirps from somewhere to the side of me.
I bolt upright, not realizing anyone was in the mostly empty bed with me. I look around until I find Hal stretched out on the bed next to me, fully clothed. “Um. Morning. How long have I been out?”
I stretch my arms above my head, working out all the tightness from sleeping in one position for who knows how long. The sunlight trickles in through the partially closed curtains, highlighting the sharp angles of Hal’s face and making his pale green eyes sparkle with mirth.
“A day. It’s been two nights and a full day since we brought you back. And you wouldn’t believe what I wokeup to yesterday.” Hal’s voice is dripping with good-natured amusement. He clearly enjoyed whatever he saw.
I arch a brow at him. “What?”
“You, sound asleep in Az’s arms. And, more surprisingly, the stubborn bastard asleep with you.” Hal shakes his head and chuckles. “I swear, he’s like a damn vampire with how little he sleeps.”
Something warm blooms in my heart hearing that. “Oh.”
