I close my eyes at his question, shame and regret and lingering anger coursing through me.
While I know I killed Andrew to save myself, it doesn’t really ease the guilt like I would’ve thought. I’m still beating myself up for not finding another way out of the situation, despite the vile things he wanted to do to me.
My eyes burn with tears that I try my best not to let fall. A rogue one drips down my cheek, and I angrily swipe it away. I don’t want to cry right now. Not when I’m so raw and broken inside, because I know it’ll just break me more.
“Yeah, um,” I start, my voice rough and uncertain. “I told you I left home earlier this year. My parents and ex-fiancé were… less than thrilled about it?—”
“You were engaged?” Azrael interrupts to ask, his voice colored with a shock that doesn’t show on his impassive face.
Hal twists around to give Azrael a look. Azrael rolls his eyes, a strangely humanizing gesture for the intimidating man. Huffing, Hal faces forward again and gives me his full attention.
When I called Hal, I didn’t really think through who all he’d bring. I was just desperate to have someone here who might know what to do with a dead body.
I’d have preferred Hal to come alone, so the other guys didn’t see firsthand just what kind of monster I can be. But I’d rather the three of them tag along than have to deal with Azrael. At least he’s been cordial so far, I guess.
Giving Azrael a tight nod, I stare down at my hands, unable to look either of them in the eyes.
“Yeah. I was until seven months ago, when he tried to kill me the first time. He found me and came here to drag me back home to be his incubator. He planned to do some pretty awful things to me and was choking me out. When I was almost passed out, my creature took over, shifted into a massive anaconda and killed him, as you can see.”
Hal’s eyebrows raise in surprise. “You can shift?”
It’s my turn to be confused. If he’s the same thing as me, he should know all about the weird shifting. “Yeah. I can shift into pretty much any animal that’s ever existed. Can’t you do the same thing, since we’re the same?”
He gives me a small smile. “Not quite, wild girl. While we’re the same thing, there are a bunch of different subsets of what we are. Different secondary abilities, if you will. Mine has to do with fire, Az’s is lightning, and yours is shifting, if that makes sense.”
I nod.
“Yours is rare, though,” Azrael adds. “I’ve only ever met one other with your ability. He used to be part of our valor.”
Great. So I’m weird, even to the people I’m supposed to fit in with. Just my luck.
Sighing, I move to shove my hands through my hair but pause when I see the blood all over them. My hands start to shake as I stare at the evidence of my crime. My skin crawls at the physical proof of just how dirty I am on the inside. I have the urge to scrub and scrub and scrub until I manage to clean myself from the inside out.
“I didn’t mean to,” I choke out as I stare at the blood on my hands. “Kill him, I mean.”
Hal covers my hands with his, breaking my stare off with the blood. “You are never going to get any judgment from any of us for killing that piece of shit or anyone else who threatens or harms you, wild girl. Never. Do you understand me?”
My gaze jerks up in surprise at the vehemence in Hal’s tone. He’s usually so easygoing, gentle, or excited. I’ve never heard him with such a sharp tone, and it shocks me into compliance.
“Yeah,” I find myself saying, even though I don’t really believe it.
“Good.” He flashes me a savage grin that’s more of a baring of teeth than a smile. “If you hadn’t killed him, I definitely fucking would have for even thinking of touching you, let alone putting his hands on your pretty little throat. If that makes you feel any better.”
My lip wobbles, and I shake my head. “It would still be my fault.”
Hal sighs and opens his mouth to say something, but he’s interrupted by Rook walking around the sofa.
Rook’s gaze bounces between the three of us before settling on Azrael. “Az, Colt and Remy could use your help with… removing evidence. If you could call the cleaners, that’d be helpful too.”
Azrael looks at me for a long moment. His golden gaze roves over my face, like he’s trying to see inside my soul or something. When he pushes to his feet what feels like an eternity later, I let out a sigh of relief. His lips tip up in dark amusement as he turns around.
Pushing past Rook, Azrael stalks back to the crime scene that I thankfully can’t see right now. I’ll have the image of Andrew’s mangled body burned into my brain forever, though.
Crouching down so he’s eye level with me, Rook gives me a reassuring smile. “How are you, dove?”
I want to laugh at the question. How am I? Besides the fact that I learned that my ex-fiancé planned to kidnap and assault me, and what all Marcus did to Wren, he means?
Just fucking peachy.
