Nella pours two cups of tea, hands me one, then settles on the bed beside me.
“I’m sure he’sworried,not angry. You were kidnapped by afae, Alleria. You spent days as its captive, and then you came home and … said those things to Lord Vessen. If I were your father, I’d be worried too.”
She’s right. I know she is. But the thought of facing him, and trying to explain why I said what I said … it makes me want to crawl back into bed and never come out again.
“I need to wash. And dress. I should at least be presentable.”
Nella helps me into a simple wool gown, in a pale pink that makes my eyes roll. But I know my father will like it. She pins my hair back from my face, and when she’s finished, she steps back to survey her work.
“You’ll do. You look tired, but you’ll do.”
A knock at the door interrupts us.
“Lady Alleria.” A page’s voice, high and nervous. “The king has requested I escort you to his study.”
Nella’s eyes meet mine through the mirror. I take a breath, stand up, smooth my skirts, and walk out to face whatever comes next.
“Enter.”
My heart is beating fast when I open the door and walk into my father’s study. He’s sitting behind his desk, papers spread before him, a cup of tea at his elbow.
“Alleria.” He sets down his pen and gestures to the chair across from him. “Sit. Please.”
I take the chair opposite him. My hands want to twist together in my lap. I force them to stay still.
“How are you feeling?” His eyes move over my face. “Did you sleep?”
“Some. I had a nightmare, but I’m fine now.”
“I was informed.” He learns forward. “What did you dream about?”
I think about telling him. For a moment, the words are right there.
I dreamed about the fae who took me. I dreamed he killed everyoneat the Dell. I dreamed I watched him do it.
But it sounds crazy, even in my own head. And it was just a dream.
“I don’t remember most of it. Just bits and pieces. Nothing that makes sense.”
He studies me. I hold his gaze.
“I … wanted to talk to you about last night. What you said to Vessen.”
Here it comes. A lecture about propriety, and a reminder that I’m the king’s daughter. The gentle but firm instruction to apologize and smooth things over.
“I know I shouldn’t have said it.” I get the words out before he can speak. “I was tired and overwhelmed, and I let my emotions get the better of me. It won’t happen again.”
“That’s not—” He stops, rubbing his temple. “I’m not angry with you, Alleria. I’m trying to understand.”
That’s …notwhat I expected to hear.
“You went through something terrible. Being taken by a fae, held for days, not knowing if you would survive. That kind of experience … it changes a person. I wouldn't expect you to come back from it unchanged.”
“I’m fine.”
“Are you?” his eyes search my face. “Because the daughter I know would never have spoken that way. Not because she doesn’t have strong feelings, but because she knows how to control them. What happened last night wasn’t like you.”
I don’t have an answer for that, because he’s right. It wasn’t like me. Or maybe it was like a version of me that never existed before.
