Go home, Alleria. Forget this ever happened.
He said it as though forgetting is a choice I can make. As if I could close my eyes and unsee everything that happened.
A knock at the door startles me badly enough that I jump.
“My lady?” A woman’s voice, slightly muffled through thedoor. “I’ve brought breakfast.”
I have to clear my throat twice before I can answer. “Come … Come in.”
The servant who enters is much older than me, with graying hair pulled back in a severe knot. She sets a tray on the small table by the hearth, then kneels to build the fire back up.
I watch her work. She doesn’t look at me directly, keeping her eyes lowered, and her presence as unobtrusive as possible. I wonder what she’s heard about me. The stories must have spread through the Dell about the princess who was taken by a fae and somehow came back alive.
What do they imagine happened to me out there in the forest? What do they think he did?
“Will there be anything else, my lady?”
“No. Thank you.”
She bobs her head and withdraws, pulling the door closed behind her. I stay where I am, arms wrapped around my knees, staring at the tray she left. Steam rises from the cup of tea. There’s fruit, cheese, and fresh bread beside it. It smells good. It should make my stomach growl. But, the thought of eating makes me sick.
I force myself to get up anyway, wash my face in the basin of cold water, pull on the clothes I stripped off last night, and then sit at the table to eat. The fruit tastes bland. I try the cheese, and it’s the same. Sustenance without pleasure, fuel for a body that only remembers how awful it was making him kneel beside me so I could share a meal with him in the common room of the inn.
I’m staring at the tray, trying to convince myself to eat more, when another knock comes.
“Alleria?” It’s Brennan’s voice this time. “May I come in?”
“Yes.”
The door opens and he steps inside, then stops when he seesme sitting at the table. I must look worse than I thought, because concern flickers across his face before he can smooth it away.
“How did you sleep?”
“Fine.”
He doesn’t call me out on the lie. “We can leave for the palace whenever you’re ready. Cowen has offered a carriage for the journey home. I sent Nella back with Wil when—” His jaw clenches.
“Before we go, I want to see where they keep them.” Until I speak the words, I had no idea it was something I needed to do.
Brennan’s brows draw together. “Keep what?”
“The fae.” I force myself to meet his eyes. “I want to see where they’re kept.”
“Alleria.” His voice softens, and I hate it—the gentleness, the careful handling, the way he’s looking at me. “You don’t need to put yourself through that. What happened?—”
“What happened is exactlywhyI need to see.” The words come out harder than I intend, sharp enough to make him frown harder. “He wasn’t what I expected. He wasn’t mindless, Brennan. Hespoketo me. In words. Insentences. He told me—” I shake my head. “It doesn’t matter what he told me. But I need to see the others. I need to know if they’re all like him, or if he was different somehow.”
“They have magic,” Brennan says slowly. “The collars suppress it, but sometimes sounds can seem like?—”
“Fourdays. I spent four days with him. I know the difference between magic tricks and speech. Hetalkedto me. He answered questions.”He made threats and kept them.“Please, Brennan. I need to see.”
He’s quiet for a long time, studying my face with sharp eyes. I brace myself for more arguments or gentle redirections, more attempts to protect me from what I’m asking for.
“I’ll speak to Cowen,” he says finally. “They don’t usually allow patrons to see the holding pens, but after what happened … he might make an exception.”
He leaves the room, and I force myself to choke down a few more bites of food. By the time another knock comes, I’ve convinced myself Cowen will refuse. That I’ll be bundled into a carriage and sent home, with this horrible uncertainty eating me alive. Brennan’s face when he opens the door tells me otherwise.
“He agreed. He’s waiting in the hall.”
