I do want.
FORTY-TWO
CAIRN
I findTherin alone in the common room. The fire has burned low, and he’s nursing a drink with his feet propped on the chair across from him. He looks up when I enter, and the smirk he gives me makes it clear he’s been waiting for me to show up.
“I need you to return to the camp.”
“Good evening to you too.” He doesn’t move his feet, so I shove them off the chair with my knee. “I’ve had a lovely meal. Thank you for asking.”
“Therin.”
His smirk widens. “Tomorrow, you say?”
“First light.” I sit down. “Go back and figure out who will do well at leading the camp. Then tell them to prepare to move out. Kaelith will have everything ready in seven days for the first group to leave.”
“Understood.” He sips his drink, eyeing me over the rim.
I sigh. “Out with it.”
“I assume you’ve heard about your pet’s new occupation.”
“What are you talking about?”
He snickers. “She’s been working in the kitchen. Sharla has herpeeling vegetables. Apparently she’s terrible at it. Cuts them too thin, slices her fingers more often than not.” He straightens and sets down his ale. “But she keeps showing up. Every morning for the past two days, she’s there, hacking away at potatoes like they’ve personally offended her. I wonder if she’s imagining your face.” His grin widens. “The princess who was going to put an arrow through your heart, elbow-deep in potato skins. There’s a song in there somewhere.”
“Do you have a point to all this?”
“Several.” He leans forward. “She’strying, Cairn. She doesn’t have to. She could stay in her room and keep out of the way, but she isn’t. She’s terrible at it, but she’strying. And you’ve been avoiding her like she’s carrying plague since I brought her back.”
“I haven’t been?—”
“Breakfast before dawn. Dinner after midnight.” He counts each avoidance off on a finger. “You’ve taken three different routes to this room in the past two days, depending on where she is.” He stands, stretching. “I’m not judging … Well, no, actually I am. But I’m also leaving in the morning, so it’s not going to be my problem.”
“How very fortunate for you.” My voice is dry.
“Isn’t it?” He moves toward the door, then pauses. “Whatever happened between you two?—”
“What happened is not relevant.”
“—hiding from it isn’t going to make it go away.” He grins at my expression. “I’ll see you at dawn, Eldráfn.”
He’s almost to the stairs when I speak again.
“Tell Nella her mistress is safe and well.”
The grin fades slightly, replaced by a more genuine smile, and he nods, then continues his way up the stairs.
Therin leaves at first light. I watch from the window of the meeting room as Kaethros forms beneath him, and then they’re gone.
Vel finds me there an hour later.
“I assume there’s a reason you didn’t send the female back with Therin?”
She closes the door behind her and moves into the room, circling the table. I wait. Vel never approaches anything directly when she’s angry. She chooses her moment.
“I used to dream about getting out.” She trails one finger along the edge of the map. “Every night I’d close my eyes and imagine what I’d do when the collar came off. Who I’d kill first. How I’d make them pay.” She stops at the corner opposite me. “Do you remember the huntmaster who had the daughter? She used to come and watch when they dragged fae out for a modification. She was twelve years old, maybe thirteen, and stood at the fence eating candied nuts while they screamed.” Her mouth twists. “I spent decades imagining what I’d do to her if I ever got free.”
