“You can’t fight. You can’t use magic. You have no skills that are useful in what we’re about to do.” I keep my voice cold, because letting her know that Iwanther to stay isn’t something I’m ready to do.
“I know.”
“You’ll have to learn to fight. It will be hard and painful, and you’ll want to quit every single day.”
“I know.”
“And if you betray us … if you run back to your father … if you tell anyone what you’ve seen … I will hunt you down myself. Do you understand?”
The words are brutal. I mean them to be. She needs to know this isn’t a game, or some romantic fairy tale where the princess escapes the palace and finds freedom. But even as I say it, I know it’s not the whole truth. I’m not warning her because I think she’ll betray us. I’m warning her because I need to be something other than what I was with her last night.
She doesn’t lower her gaze. “I understand.”
FORTY-ONE
ALLERIA
For a moment,I just stand there by the well, my hands still clasped in front of me the way they were when I made my little speech about choosing to be someone I can live with. The words had sounded brave when I said them. Now I just feel foolish.
I make myself move—across the square, through the door of the inn, up the stairs, and into my room. Closing the door, I stand with my back against it.
This is real. I actually did it. I told Therin I didn’t want to go back, then I stood in front of Cairn and told him I was choosing to stay. And what did he do? He looked at me out of those gold eyes, and told me that he’d hunt me down if I betrayed them.
Then he walked away.
I push off from the door and pace. Four steps to the window. Four steps back. The room feels smaller than it did this morning, the walls closer. And the bed … the sheets are tangled from where we?—
I turn away and flop into one of the chairs in front of the fireplace.
What have I done?
I jump back to my feet.
This is ridiculous. I made a choice. Imeantit. Now I need to figure out what to do with it.
Spinning around, I cross to the door. I could walk out right now. I could go anywhere. Except … I could have gone anywhere when Therin took me out of the village, and I came right back here!
I could go for a walk. I could?—
Voices reach me from down the hallway. Muffled, but I can make out what sounds like an argument. A female voice, sharp and angry, and a lower male one … and cutting through both of them, low and certain, a voice I’d know anywhere.
Cairn.
I should go back into my room, or go downstairs and find food. I should do anything other than walk toward the voices.
The door at the end of the hall is closed. The female’s voice is recognizable now. It’s Vel, and she’s angry about something. The male voice pushes back. And then Cairn says something and they both go quiet.
I raise my hand to knock, and the door swings open before I touch it. Vel is standing there.
For a second, we stare at each other, then her expression hardens, and she steps into the hallway, pulling the door shut behind her.
“Eavesdropping, Princess?” She says it softly, almost pleasantly, which actually terrifies me more than if she’d shouted. “Didn’t take long for you to start spying.”
“I wasn’t?—”
“Save it.” She moves toward me, and I have to lock my knees to keep from stepping back. “I know exactly what you are. You think because you spread your legs for him, you’re one of us now?”
My face burns, but I hold my ground.
