‘No, no. I’ve got this month sorted. Next month though…’ This is why people have contingency plans! But living in London doesn’t come cheap. Most of my income goes towards expenses and whatever’s left soon vanishes on the fun stuff in life like eating out, books, events. I can’t have Lily worrying about me making rent, it’s not fair on her. ‘As sad as it’ll be, Lily, maybe I need to consider finding work outside of London since the job hunt is a bust. Rent here is exorbitant. And it won’t be fun running into Goal Digger and Caleb before I’ve even had my morning coffee.’
Lily’s face falls. ‘You’re not serious about finding a job in some far-flung place?’
I shrug. The Barefoot Bookshop on the beach just might be the answer… But I’ve googled the name of the bookshop and nothing came up. If only I could find that reel or Lucy’s Instagram page again, but so far, no luck on those either despite many searches late at night, mid sob-fest when I can’t sleep. ‘I’ve tried at almost every bookshop in London. It’s a firm no. Next would be finding a bookseller job at the end of the earth where they haven’t heard of Bookstagram or #BangBangGate. A quiet town I can hide out, tail between my legs until a new drama comes along in literati-land.’
A quiet island perhaps…?
I’ve never really found my place, moving from home to home as a teenager. Eventually I landed into the safety of the London pad with Lily but how quickly it feels the opposite, like the foundation here is cracking, the ground moving beneath my feet. That stability I so want is elusive once more.
Lily, who’s usually tough as nails, wells up and I soon follow suit. ‘That seems so drastic, though.’ She gives my arm a supportive squeeze. ‘What about finding a job in a different industry, just for a bit?’
I consider it. ‘Books are my life, Lil. I’d hate to lose that too.’ I can’t let that happen or what will I have? Nothing that brings me the joy like books do. When my parents died, books became my sanctuary, the place I could pause my grief and sink into someone else’s life. That timeout kept the sorrow at bay, helped me cope with such a devastating loss – so for me, books are almost like a stand-in parent, a stalwart friend I can go to when the world grows dark. The act of reading is like time spent with an unconditional buddy – one who never judges but is always there for you, no matter what mistakes you’ve made. So no, I will never give up that part of my life. It’s my safety net. It’s where I go to be shored up. Put back together again.
Yes, I’ve made a mess of things but surely I can start again somewhere new for a bit?
Without my income from the page and my bookshop job, I can’t afford to live in this bustling metropolis – there’s just no way. Lily’s young cousin has been making noises about wanting to move to London so I’m sure she’ll jump at the chance to take my room. And while it might be cowardly, being elsewhere right now would be a relief. An island hideaway would be just the ticket…
8
Formal apology from Harper Morgan shared on Bookstagram @harpersbookhaven 10.15a.m.
To Tia, author of Bang, Bang! I’m deeply sorry about the statements I made about you on the live stream that I inadvertently continued to record. My comments were highly inappropriate and unsubstantiated. I regret that a personal conversation that I thought was private was accidentally streamed live. There is still no excuse for my actions. I sincerely apologise for the hurt I’ve caused you personally and professionally. It was never my intention to malign your name or your debut book in a public setting, as I value the book community and its writers. In saying that, I understand I have broken your trust, and that of my community, and once again, I fully admit I’m at fault. This kind of behaviour doesn’t reflect my core values, and I will be taking time to reflect and learn how to do better. Tia, I wish you well on your future literary endeavours.
I press publish on the post and then write a second one.
To my friends in the book community.
Thank you to those who’ve reached out to check on my wellbeing. It’s more appreciated than you know. I’m deeply sorry I let you down. The book community has always been a welcoming space for me, and I hope I reflected that back. There is not much else I can say except how terribly sorry I am. A public pile-on is the very last thing I’d ever be part of, let alone the instigator of. My actions were unjust and unfair and have caused a lot of hurt for Tia, her fans, and romancelandia as a whole.
In light of my actions, I take full accountability and will remove myself from Bookstagram, taking time to re-evaluate. Before I go, I want to give a heartfelt thanks to all of you. Meeting bookworms from all over the world has been a huge blessing in my life. You’ve made me laugh by sharing hilarious book memes, encouraged me to dip my toes into trying new genres (hello, romantasy!). You’ve inspired me to get more creative with my posts (flat lays are still my favourite!). And shown me the beauty of taking time to write an eloquent review, and conversely, doing a brain dump video when a book is so lifechanging you can’t contain your emotions. By its nature, reading is a solitary pursuit, but it hasn’t felt solitary with you there for me, at the touch of button. I’ll miss you all so much.
I’ll leave this post up for a week before I deactivate my account.
All my love,
Harper xoxo
9
@Shelbysbookcorner: Look what you made her do! Harper, don’t leave! You made one tiny mistake. Big deal!
@Cousinvinnie666: this chick luvs attention
@Tacos-Tequila-Tolstoy: does this apology seem fake to anyone else?
@SirspudfromKent: Why I am seeing this in my feed? Who even is this?
@LiteraryMemes: I hope Tia sues the pants off her. What a troublemaker
@Girlzinthehood402: Yawn, not an airport don’t need to announce your departure
@Texasmuscle__: if you join only fans hmu
@BethanysBookWorld: Check out reddit, plenty of comments on there about Tia. What if Harper’s right?
@WillsHorrorReviewsOfficial: Bye!
@LousLittleHomeLibrary: Hope you see this Harper!! You’ve been doxxed.
