“If you walk out that door, I’m…I’m done. I won’t speak to you again.”
“Is that what you want in here?” I gently poked her forehead, repeating my father’s words to her. “Or is that what you want in here?” I poked her chest, and her lips quivered.
It was the first time I saw fear widen her eyes.
“Forget it.” I looked down at my finger. “I don’t think there’s anything inhereanymore.” I dropped my hand and backed away, watching her face fall. “A heart surgeon without a heart. How ironic.”
The heels of my boots hitting the white stone floor echoed around the vast entryway as I left my mother silent for the first time in her life. I opened the front door and stopped, catching one final glance at the inside of my childhood home. The white keys of the piano in the parlor made me pause before I left. Music was the last good memory I had of my father and a much better one to hold on to.
“I want Dad’s piano,” I said, looking over my shoulder.
My mother blinked a few times and swallowed back her words before nodding once. “I’ll hire someone to deliver it wherever you want.”
I gave her a small smile, glad she hadn’t fought me on it, and then shut the door behind me. I filled my lungs to their maximum capacity, holding my breath until I couldn’t any longer. And then I took the most difficult steps of my life and walked away from my mom. No guilt. No apologies. It was up to her if she wanted to be in my life now. I wasn’t going to force her to love me anymore.
Liam was leaning against the front of his car, looking up at the stars when he spotted me coming down the steps. His smile grew as I jogged the rest of the way into his arms. My shirt rose as I stretched my arms around his neck. The leather from his jacket was cold against the skin of my lower back, but I welcomed it. Being inside with my mother had left my whole body on fire. I pressed my mouth against his soft lips and kept them there.
He started to smile, and I pulled away. “That bad, huh?”
I teetered my head side to side. “I didn’t expect it to go well, but I’m happy with what I said.”
“Good. I’m proud of you.” He walked me over to open his door.
Once I scooted over and he climbed behind the wheel, I settled into his side and chose a song on the radio.
“Do you think you guys have room for a piano at your place?”
Liam’s shoulders shook with a gentle laugh. “Um, maybe if we moved some stuff around. Why?”
I smiled up at him, tired and happy. “I’ll tell you about it later.”
The future didn’t seem so scary now. I didn’t know what to expect or where to go, but there was excitement that filled my veins instead of fear or anxiety. Maybe it was because I had so many more people supporting me. Maybe it was because of the relief of not having to become someone I didn’t want to be.
Life tended to chip little pieces of you away, the longer you were here. Shaping you. Molding you into who you were today. No one ever prepared you for when you lost too much of yourself.
You stumbled.
You fell.
Lost, without a clear path to follow, hoping to find that one person, place, or passion that made you feel whole again. The piece that fit.
I’d never thought the tattooed lead singer sitting beside me would be the one to match my broken edges, but I’d come to realize that we didn’t have a choice in who we loved or who we lost. But we did have a choice in what we did after those people entered or exited our lives. I used to think that it was best to make those choices with your head. To be logical. Careful. But I’d recently learned that the best decisions in life were made with your heart.
Epilogue
Liam
Fifteen Months Later
She hadn’t seen me yet. Her short brown hair bounced against her shoulders with each step she took toward me as she adjusted her book bag.
Damn, she was beautiful. And she was mine. All mine.
It took everything in me not to move from my spot, but as I contemplated running for her, her gray eyes finally flicked up from the pavement and widened.
Avery stumbled in her tracks and then sprinted toward me.
I pushed away from the side of the cab door with a shit-eating grin on my face and a handful of flowers.
