My eyes bulged. “I know; I know. Don’t remind me. I wish it hadn’t taken me this long to realize it but better now than when I’m wearing that white coat.”
“What is your mom going to say?”
I’d been avoiding that thought. “It just might be enough to render her speechless—in which case, I won’t have to worry about what she says or what she thinks.” I shrugged.
Nina looked up at me through her lashes.
“I know that’s not how it’s going to go, but a girl can hope!”
The car was silent for a few minutes, and then Nina let out a tiny growl. “Man, Avery. We were supposed to do this together. I loved the idea of becoming doctors at the same time and living in a cute little apartment until we both got married when we were thirty-something.”
“I know,” I said, disappointed I couldn’t give her that bit of happiness. “You’re going to make a great doctor one day though. It’s just not my path.”
She held my hand over the center console. “And you’re going to be great at whatever you decide to do instead.”
31
Avery
Three days. That was how long Liam and I lasted before we couldn’t stand not being near one another. We’d mastered the ability to do things to each other while staying quiet—even if that meant one of us had to muffle the other—so we didn’t bother Nina all that much.
A Quiet Peril released “Hollow Again” as their first single on the new album. I heard it play on the radio for the first time when Nina and I were driving to get lunch, and I had to pull over because I was screaming so loud. I called Liam and put it on speaker, but he wasn’t as enthused as I was. He just laughed and listened to my squealing.
The journals were gone, but having that song—that part of my dad—out there for everyone to hear was a perfect harmony of his pain and his passion for music that would live on forever. And his son had brought it to life.
Liam and I decided we would tell Danny who had really written the lyrics to the song when I was ready, but that was a battle for another day. I had another battle to face before then, and I was running out of time.
I’d stopped going to classes and dropped out of my program shortly after moving in to our apartment, so it was only a matter of time before my mother’s tuition checks were returned. I kept trying to pep-talk myself into calling her, but every time I picked up the phone, my fingers couldn’t go further than hovering over her number.
The day of the Step 1 exam finally came. Nina had already left to go take it, and I was sitting down to eat breakfast when my phone rang. It was the first time my mom had tried calling me since the cemetery. I chickened out and didn’t answer.
Coward.
She left me a voice mail, wishing me luck on the exam, and my stomach twisted. Pushing my plate away, I started to call her back but got her voice mail.
Nina and Zayn invited me out to celebrate being done with exams, but my stomach just kept getting worse throughout the day. I tossed and turned in bed until one in the morning and decided I was going to rip off the Band-Aid before I lost my mind.
I reached my hand out in the dark and swatted the top of my nightstand until I found my phone.
Liam answered my call on the first ring. “Hey, Av. What’s the matter? It’s late.” The warmth of his tone sent a shiver from my ear down my neck.
“You’re awake,” I pointed out.
I could hear his smile through the phone. “It’s late for you, not for me. Is everything okay?”
I nodded, forgetting he couldn’t see me. “Will you come with me to my mom’s?”
“Sure, I’ll go with you. I don’t think she’ll be happy to see me, but I know it’s going to be a tough conversation. Just tell me when.”
“Now?” I winced.
He paused. “It’s one in the morning.”
“I can’t sleep.” I sighed. “I have to do this.” I knew that I’d wake up tomorrow, wishing I’d done it when I had the courage.
“Okay.” His boots hitting the hardwood floor echoed into the phone. “I’ll be there in twenty.”
Moonlight shone through the large window in the parlor, making the glossy finish of my father’s grand piano sparkle like it was new. I ran the tips of my fingers over the stunning woodwork. It didn’t have a speck of dust on it, but that wasn’t because it had been played recently. My mother never learned how. She kept a maid who cleaned the house three times a week. You could walk through the place with a white glove, and it would come out cleaner than when you’d put it on.
