"I have to."
"The guests..."
I don't hear the rest of what she's saying as I hurry out of the room, barely nodding to the servants as I pass, but years of being taught the proper etiquette mean that some of it comes by rote. Mama is going to be angry with me, but I don't care. Some things are more important than that, and this is one of them.
Chapter 18
The kitchen is busier than I expect it to be, but none of the staff seem to fully register me, likely because they're finishing dealing with the aftermath of the feast and getting ready for the equally lavish breakfast that's going to be occurring tomorrow morning for our guests.
A visiting delegation really does throw the castle into chaos. Maybe I should have waited until later to have this conversation, but in truth, it's the only thing in my mind and I don't think I'll be able to do anything until I've seen Nate.
I get to the doorway of the smaller kitchen and stand there for a moment, admiring Nate as he gives instructions to Camille. He turns and spots me, freezing in place and staring at me. It takes a moment for me to remember that I'm not just dressed for a feast, but I'm in full regalia, complete with sash and tiara, and I'm not entirely sure he's seen me like this. Though he must have. It's been nearly sixteen years, there's very little chance he's never seen me dressed like this before.
He steps forward. "Is everything all right?" he asks, looking me up and down, concern written on his face. "Is something wrong at the feast?"
"No. At least, I don't think so. Mama is probably unhappy that I've left, but I'll deal with that tomorrow," I say, barely able to think as I look at him.
"Why did you leave?"
My mouth is dry, but I need to know if Veronica is telling the truth or not. "I had to come. I know that this is probably completely the wrong time, and I don't know what I was really thinking. Actually, I do know what I'm thinking, but the answer is that I'm just thinking of you."
"It's fine. We're just preparing for tomorrow." He turns to his sous chef. "You should take a break, Camille."
"Oui, Chef." She pauses and looks at me before bowing. "Your Highness." She disappears out of the door, leaving us alone in the smaller kitchen.
Nate reaches for my arm and draws me closer inside so we're away from any other prying eyes. That's probably for the better, though I doubt any of them are paying any attention to us anyway.
"What happened?" he asks with worry dancing in his eyes as he looks at me.
I take a deep breath. Now is the moment to finally find out the truth, even if that's terrifying. "Do you love me, Nate?"
Silence follows my question, and despite the noise of the kitchens around us, all I can hear is my pulse pounding in my ears.
I don't know what I'm going to do if he says no. I don't think my heart can take it. Maybe Veronica is wrong and he doesn't feel anything for me. I should have thought of a better way of approaching this.
Nate steps closer to me, an expression on his face that's hard to read, but I think is nervousness. "Are you asking if I love you, or if I'm in love with you?"
"Does it matter?"
"Yes." The word is a whisper, but it doesn't stop me from hearing it.
I swallow hard. "I'm asking if you're in love with me." I meet his gaze, feeling a little calmer with the warmth of his brown eyes. He's not going to hurt me. Even if the answer is no, then he's going to be gentle about it. This is Nate, he'd never do anything to harm me.
"Yes, Evie. I'm in love with you," he says softly. "I have been for a very long time."
My breath catches in my throat. "You're in love with me?"
"Do you need me to repeat it?" His tone is completely serious.
"Yes. Please."
"I love you, Evie."
"I love you too." The words slip out more easily than I expect them to. I've said them before, but this time, I know he knows what I mean by them. I hope. Maybe I'm not being clear enough.
"Do I need to ask you how you love me?" he asks softly.
"I'm in love with you too," I correct myself. "I've just been scared to tell you. I didn't know if I could give you what you need."
