"Yes, that's on me."
"So, what did you mean?" I pick up my teacup and blow across the top of it to make sure that I don't burn myself on it.
"I meant to ask about how things went with Nate?"
"Oh, he was great company."
"Come on, Evie, you know I'm asking if you told him how you were feeling."
"Oh, no, I didn't do that. There was a moment where it felt like I could, but then the play started. I thought about kissing him, though."
"Is that new for you?" she asks curiously.
I consider the question for a moment. "I've thought about kissing him a couple of times since I realised how I felt about him."
"And have you thought about more than that?"
"No. Should I have?"
"Not necessarily," she responds. "I was just curious."
I hesitate for a moment, not entirely sure I want to know the answer to the question I'm about to ask, but unable to stop myself from asking it all the same. "Do you think it's a problem that I'm not thinking about that kind of thing?"
"I don't know," Veronica answers. "It's all going to depend on how Nate feels about it. For some people, it could be a problem, for others, it might not be."
"Would it be a problem for you?" I take a sip of my tea, not entirely sure why I'm asking, or what I'm going to do with the information she gives me. Maybe I just want an idea of what I'm going to face if Nate responds well to my confession of how I'm feeling.
"Hmm." Veronica leans back in her seat, clearly giving some consideration to the question. "I'm not really sure. I've not been in that situation, so it's hard to know if it would bother me. Being in love with someone changes things. If you're worrying about how Nate is going to feel about your relationship with sex, then you're going to have to talk to him about it."
"That's what I was afraid you were going to say," I mumble.
She gives me what looks like an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry this isn't easier."
"Not your fault." I take a deep breath. "I'm going to have to tell him, aren't I?"
"Yes. But I've been telling you that for months. If you want answers, then you're going to have to ask the questions, even if that's hard."
"I know." And I do. I'm just scared of what that's going to mean for the future of my friendship with Nate. But I've never kept anything from him the way that I'm keeping this secret, and I can't keep doing that, it isn't fair to either of us.
Chapter 11
Ember watches us from atop the wood-fired oven as we move around the kitchen. She's had her food, so she's relaxed, just curious about what we're doing. Maybe she wants some chocolate from the bowl Nate melted it in. Not that she's going to get any. I have no idea if it's safe to give chocolate to dragons, and I'm not about to risk her health.
A mould of lots of tiny semi-spheres sits on the table, brushed with chocolate so that they create crisp shells that we'll fill with ganache.
"Shall I take these out to the ice house?" I ask Nate.
He nods. "If you do that, I'll get started on the ganache."
I pick up the tray and head out of the kitchen. A chill travels through me as I step into the ice house. While it's uncomfortable for me, I know that it's a good thing for the food being stored here. I slide the chocolate mould onto one of the empty shelves reserved for Nate's use. I'm not sure precisely how they split up the sections of the room, but I know better than to stray into the other sections. Everything is properly accounted for, and there's the risk of contamination to be taken into account.
Satisfied that they're in the right position, I make my way back to the kitchen. Ember looks up as I reenter the kitchen, only to let out a huff that blows smoke out of her nose.
Nate laughs. "I think she's annoyed you didn't bring her more food."
"She's already had some. I don't want her turning into a greedy dragon."
"Probably for the best, I don't think I'd want to find out what a greedy dragon would look like," he says.
