“Not just Ez,” she whispered into the room, which suddenly seemed very still.
Her gaze snagged on Saffron’s messenger bag, which she’d propped carefully against the dresser before falling asleep. She reached inside and freed Gran’s vase and Nathan’s hummingbird from their bubble wrap. She set them side-by-side on the nightstand, then sat back to look at them. For better or worse, she was a Fitzgerald. She would never get rid of Gran’s vase; she would neverberid of the memory of her father’s assault on Ezra. To go home now might mean that she could pick her plans back up. Beg until Dad and Mom granted forgiveness and returned her house key.
Pros of love. Ezra.
She ran one finger over the delicate green wing of the glass hummingbird. Ezra’s pack. His family. Robert and Ann for in-laws. Sweet, mischievous Trevor and quiet, warm Cassius for her brothers. The all-but-legendary Kelsey and the more elusive Sydney for her sisters. And the friends he spoke so fondly of—Aaron and Jeremy and Malachi, and their mates too, if they had them.
Pros of love—Ezra’s family and friends.
But she didn’t know them yet. And they weren’t Saffron. None of them could be Saffron.
“Am I doing this wrong?” she said. A pro/con list had never failed her before, but this one was.
She lay back on the bed and closed her eyes and let herself…want. Feel. Hope. Yes, even hope. Deep in the core of herself, the place she sometimes lost touch with as she tried to navigate the world with information and objectivity—here her hope lived, a flame no bigger than a candle’s.
Yes, she could go back to her parents. She could make a false peace, never see her wolf again, step into the cage of the demand they called a choice. She could take the hammer of their hatred to her own heart and shatter it and thereby get on with her life as it had been. Before Ezra. But every day, she would live with those pieces. Every day she would live with her fragile candle of hope now cold and dark, snuffed the moment she decided that loving a good man wasn’t worth what it cost.
She sat up on the bed, her heart beating hard. “No. I won’t be that person. I won’t.” More words poured, unstoppable. “Yeah, hope is scary. All right. It’s scary. But I’m not a coward, and I know now. I know what’s on both sides of the list. I know what I’ve got to give up for him. So—there. I’m a wolf’s mate, and I love him. And that’s all-caps on the pro side.”
Willow picked up her phone and read his text again. Then she began typing.
Willow:Well, let’s see. I’m tired, and I’m angry for both of us, and hatred sucks. And you’re not wrong. I do need a day of space. But here’s the thing, Ezra. I think you’re becoming part of my space. So if you want to come, you can.
He didn’t respond, but the front door opened and shut about ten minutes later, and then came a quiet knock on her door.
“Wil, it’s me.”
She opened the door and wrapped her arms around her wolf, and he scooped her clean off her feet and cradled her with a rumble of pleasure and…relief. She tilted her head back to meet his eyes. “You were worried about me.”
He nodded and dropped a kiss in her curls. “It’s good to see you.”
“And hold me,” she said with a smile, “clearly.”
He growled again. “You have no idea.”
“And smell me.”
The growl deepened. “Lime and vanilla. My new favorite blend.”
“I’m okay, Ezra. I really am.”
He set a kiss on her forehead. “There’s less shock now, in your scent. That’s good.”
“Is that all you smell?” Surely there was more. The candle in her heart flickered brightly, as high as it ever had.
“No, but I’m not sure… You do smell happier? Stronger?”
She cupped his dear face in one hand. “That’s the scent of hope.”
And love. But one thing at a time.
Seventeen
WillowspentSaturdaymorninggetting ready. First a quick glance through the wardrobe choices she’d packed, followed by a quick decision. Then she sat on the guest bed and tried mentally to prepare to meet the wolf pack. Robert had acclimated her the evening before, so she knew what to expect from the experience. It was terrifying for about one minute, and then she…well, acclimated.
She could do this. She wanted to. She would endure a hundred acclimations if it meant the wolves would accept her as Ezra’s mate. No idea how long her social energy would hold up, though, so when noon rolled around she drove herself three houses down, following Ezra’s green truck. Now if she wanted to leave early, no one had to take her back to Robert and Ann’s.
They parked side by side, and as Ezra directed, she made sure she didn’t block in anyone’s vehicle. Apparently this was a big deal among the wolves, a way to show yourself as a non-threat. So many things to learn; she couldn’t wait to know everything. If that were even possible.
