“What is it?”
He opened his mouth to tell her, wanted to tell her. Would he stop fading if he could talk to his Kelsey about it? But the words had been buried too long. He tried again, but the things he’d said to Arlo wouldn’t be said to her. Too scared inside. Too weak.
“William didn’t,” he said instead. Words to hide behind. Wrong words. “He lived a full happy life without a mate. Plenty of wolves do.”
“So if you don’t have a fate-picked one, you can just…be with me? And it’s okay?”
“I guess so.”
“That seems weird,” she said slowly. Her arms inched around the span of his ribs, and she burrowed against his side like she used to when they were teens, both sleepy and spent from a night of kissing and talking and kissing. “But, Trevor, what if…?”
“What if what?”
“You find her later, and she’s… Well, the wolf always knows her when he finds her. That’s what Ember and Sydney said. Aaron knew, and Cassius. Right away. So years go by and we’re married or something, and then you findher, and you’ve got to be with her, because fate, so you—” Tears broke into her voice.
“No,” he said, the force of the word almost a rumble in the room. Almost.
Trevor tucked his arm around her and rested his chin on the top of her head. He brought his other arm around her too, cupped the side of her face. The tang of her fear was so strong it hit his tongue as well as his nose.
“Shhhh,” he said, and she gave a little sob. “Kelsey, listen to me. That is never going to happen.”
“But you can’t know that, not if fate—”
“Believe me, okay? I’m yours. I don’t want to be anyone else’s, and I’m not going to be.”
“But that’s because you haven’t met her. You can’t stay with me once you do. You’d be sad and wish you’d never—and she would be sad too because you’d be her wolf.”
If he’d never hurt her, maybe she could take his word and hold onto it, no further assurance needed. He drew a deep breath that hurt his chest. He poured his strength into one more attempt to say the words.
“I’myourwolf, Kelsey.”
“But—”
“No, listen to me. You’re mine, and I’m yours.”
She stared into his face, and her eyes grew wide. “You mean…life mates?”
“Yeah, life mates. Me and you.”
She studied him hard, searched his eyes for something. The scent of her hope rose like a mist, floral and sweet in his senses, then fell hard. “You’re just saying that. Ember said if mates try to ignore fate, it’s really bad for the wolf. There’s no way fate would leave you alone for nine years.”
“Screw fate. Screw everything. I’m telling you the truth.”
“You…you know? Wolf knowledge, like she said?”
“Yeah.”
Her ire returned, a cooler version of it, smelling like an old electrical fire instead of one currently raging. “Hold on. When did you know? Why didn’t you tell me?”
He flinched as each question pierced him, but her arms tightened around him instead of letting go. He might be forgiven this too. Maybe. He drew a deep breath and held it until he could say more.
“I didn’t know until after you moved to Raleigh. I never told anybody, Kels, not for years.”
“Nobody? Ever?”
“Arlo figured it out for himself just this week. He said—he said my scent’s different with you back. And I told Aaron a few weeks ago, when Ember first showed up. He needed help sorting some stuff in his head.”
Stufflike personal fears he didn’t spell out for Trevor, fears affecting his ability to pursue Ember as his mate. Shoot. Aaron had run into Kelsey for the first time in nine years, known her to be Trevor’s mate, and invited her to the cookout. Matchmaking just like old Arlo. In this moment Trevor could only thank him.
