I nestled closer as he extracted my arm from the cover and held it up in the dim light. My shoulder screamed in protest, my hand waving back and forth as I squinted at it.
Clement cupped my forearm and massaged my wrist. “Here, see.”
The shackles had cut deep, leaving the skin oozing and swollen. Mottled bruises spread down my arm like poisoned blood, but there was a small patch of skin where my arm met my wrist and the veins crisscrossed together, that was pure black. It was shaped like a finger, long and gnarled.
“One of the spirits inserted itself between you and the needle. It took most of the poison, leaving you just enough to pass out. Although, you’ve been unconscious for hours.” His voice wobbled. “I persuaded Prince Bellinor to let you live, for now at least. The town doesn’t know about the woman he killed after the trial and people have settled down again, but if they get wind of your murder before the wedding, it’ll stir up their suspicions.” He laid my arm down again and tucked the covers over. “It’s all one big game to him, and he knows he’s right on top. He’ll enjoy watching you, seeing how you react now that you know the truth. He forced the spirits to increase their guard and focus on you, not Lilyanna. You’re essentially locked down until then.”
“But they’re on my side?” I whispered. The hearth flared in the corner of his small room, but if they wanted to listen, they’d find another way.
“Not really. Some retain more resilience than others, especially the newer ones, but ultimately, they’ll answer to whomever is strongest.” He kissed my hair before laying his cheek on my head. “Which is probably not you.”
“You’re the second person to doubt in my abilities.” I sighed and let him mold himself around my body. “But why did they save me?”
“It was only one. Maybe they knew you needed to be conscious, and it wasn’t really saving you but allowing him to try again.” He kissed my hair again, his breath warm and comforting on my scalp. “Or maybe they couldn’t bear the thought of spending eternity trapped with you, so they decided to let you live.”
I snorted causing waves of pain to fire through my body. “Don’t make me laugh, everything hurts.”
“Everything?” He pressed his lips to my forehead, smiling.
I snorted again and weakly hit him. “Don’t.”
“Okay.” He settled back around me, his fingers massaging my shoulder.
The fire crackled softly, and snow fell gently against the small slitted window. His room wasn’t much bigger than mine, but it was far cozier. He’d plugged the hole in the ceiling with wood planks and a thickly woven tapestry.
My body relaxed, and I almost slipped into sleep, only managing to jerk myself awake at the last second. I forced myself to sit up, my heart racing and stomach churning. “Clement, you should?—”
“I’m not leaving.”
“Then I won’t sleep.”
“You’re ridiculous, Tamara.” He patted the thin mattress. “Lie down.”
For the first time, I studied his face. Dark circles hung under his eyes, his beard was tangled, the skin underneath sallow. I laid my hand on his, lacing our fingers together, ignoring the tremor that shook him. “Why do you do it?” It was clear that he didn’t just want me out of this mess, he didn’t want to be here either. I recognized someone bound to a duty they didn’t want.
He pulled away and slid his legs to the floor. Perched on the edge of the mattress, he doubled over, his face buried in his hands.
“My sister was one of the original guards when the queens sent the prince to live up here. They handpicked our family because we had nothing, didn’t personally know anyone within the city and couldn’t be easily blackmailed.” He spoke through his fingers, his voice muffled. “Her job was initially to keep him safe, but the longer he was here, the more bored he became, and he fell into his old habits. She ended up having to clean up his messes without the public catching on.”
I forced my body to crawl across the bed. Every joint ached, every muscle depleted of energy. I knelt behind him and draped myself over his shoulders. He straightened, turning so our foreheads touched.
“It still wasn’t enough. The prince made his own deal, falling further and further into madness and wealth. From the outside, this place turned around. In a few years, it was the richest municipality in the entire queendom. But you saw how.”
I nodded. The skin on my face pulled tight with the movement, the edges of the long scab bisecting my eye caught and tugged.
“My sister was always brave. I looked up to her, yearned to be as strong as she was. She plotted against him, tried to save who she could, but as you know, the walls have ears. There’s always someone watching.” He leaned forward again, a sob wracking his body.
I kneaded his shoulders. Something had turned. I’d do anything for this man, to ease his pain, shoulder his guilt. And I didn’t want to admit to myself why. I didn’t need another weakness holding me back.
“Bryn told me most of the story. She was already here. She and my sister were lovers, they shared everything. She’d tried to reach out to me, to warn me when I came, but I was too late. The prince condemned her for treason and sent her South. She’s not part of the Queens’ Guard as I told you, she’s locked in a dungeon somewhere with Goddess knows what being done to her.” He shuddered. “She’s alive though, because as long as I keep the prince alive and his secrets safe, she lives. Ten years is the deal for both me and Bryn. We have to serve that long and then she’ll be released.”
“I’ll free her, we’ll go together. I can get in anywhere.”
He turned, dragging his hands across his eyes and faced me. “It’s far too dangerous. If they find out they’ll kill her, or you.” He took my hand and pressed his lips to my knuckles. “I’ve been trying to protect you, Tam. Ever since I saw you, but you make it impossible.”
“I don’t want a protector. There are enough people in my life trying to control me, Clement. I want an equal.”
“I’ll never be your equal.”
