This is silly. What am I doing? It’s just as likely that Kai is already resenting the fact that he was forced to marry me and is purposefully staying away. Encouraging these feelings now will just lead to more heartbreak later. Besides, I wanted this, didn’t I? I wanted him to leave me alone. That’s why I told him about my curse. I wanted to drive him away, just like I did with Freddy.
No feelings, no pain. This is what I wanted.
It was becoming harder and harder to convince herself.
Kai returned just as her eyes were starting to drift shut. “Eliza? Is everything alright?”
She turned her head, watching his shadowy form approach. He knelt in front of her chair, a line of concern creased between his eyebrows. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” she answered stiffly. “I was just waiting for you to return.”
His concern turned to a grin. “Did you miss me?”
Yes.
“No. I just worry about you keeping such long hours. It’s not good for your health, and I would prefer not to be left a widow before a year is up.”
He picked up her hand in a rare show of affection and turned it over, pressing a scratchy kiss to her palm. She steadfastly ignored the butterflies that pounded against the ice, begging to be let free. A few made their way up through the cracks, pushing them farther apart.
“I’m sorry, Eliza. They’re preparing for an event at the palace, and it’s requiring me to do some extra work.”
“An event?” She had heard of no such thing down in the kitchens, which she expected to be the first place to begin preparing. Though, now that she thought about it, there had been a great deal more whispering and secretive looks over the last few days.
“It will be over after tomorrow. Oh! That reminds me—Mrs. Pearce asked if you would be willing to come in. I know it’s supposed to be your day off, but she said they could use an extra pair of hands. You don’t have to worry about going in right at dawn, but midmorning, if you want.”
It’s not like I have anything else to do, and it sounds like Kai will be busy, anyway.
“Alright.”
His eyes crinkled as he smiled. He squeezed the hand he still held. “You’re pretty amazing, you know?”
“Because I’m not taking a day off? I assumed that was called overworking.”
He chuckled. “No, though I do admire your willingness to help. And your humility and readiness to learn new things. Your work ethic. Your intelligence and curiosity. You’re amazing just because you’re you, Eliza.” Kai paused and looked down as he laced their fingers together. When his eyes met hers again, they were bright with emotion. “And it’s why I love you.”
She froze. “I can’t love you.”
“Your curse won’t allow it, I know. But it can’t stop me.”
Freddy was getting married.
Freddywas gettingmarried.
Lizzie barely registered the look of sympathy on Mrs. Pearce’s face as she broke the news. Of course, the housekeeper hadknown her before, back when Lizzie was Princess Eliza of Nedra and not Eliza of the Sudsy Dish Water. She likely guessed that the news of the Kystan prince’s upcoming nuptials would be painful.
Was it painful?
No feelings, no pain.
She shouldn’t be surprised, after all. She had rebuffed Freddy time after time and made it quite clear that she did not want a future with him. Why would it be any great shock for him to be looking for a wife now? She was certainly off the market herself, as her father had gone behind his back and married her off to the minstrel who would likely be performing at his wedding.
Oh.
That could be awkward.
“If it’s too much, dear—” Mrs. Pearce began, graciously giving her a way out.
She blinked. “No. No, it will be fine. Just tell me what you need me to do.”
