“You're a soldier,” she reminded him for the second time that morning. “I think the answer to that question should be rather obvious. But don’t worry–you have far more experience and training with weapons than Stahlmaus, and I’ll be there to deflect his magic. Between the two of us, we should be able to force him through the gate.”
“You’re forgetting that he has an entire army with him,” Alex pointed out. The frigid air was beginning to seep into his bones.
“Once Stahlmaus is in your realm, they won’t be a problem. Without their illustrious leader to follow, they won’t have a reason to fight–especially when they know that I’m the rightful heir.” She smiled encouragingly and patted his left arm, apparently forgetting in the moment that it couldn’t feel anything. “Don’t worry. You’re more than a match for uncle. Even with your injury, your physical skill is still enough that you can best him as long as he's sufficiently distracted.”
Alex stared at her hand on his arm as the pieces clicked into place. “This was your plan all along, wasn’t it?” he asked finally, lifting his head to look into her wide brown eyes. The wind was beginning to pick up and the snowflakes were falling more quickly. A few sparkling flakes had settled on the edges of her long eyelashes. “Drosselmeyer didn’t just need my magic to create the gateway to my realm, but you neededmeto be the one to send Stahlmaus through. It was never about keeping me safe, but about the fact that you needed a soldier who didn’t rely only on magic.”
Celesta winced, and the unspoken acknowledgement was like a knife in his gut. He stepped backwards, pulling his arm away from her hand. He had thought that Celesta was different–that she had seen him as a man rather than just a nameless, faceless soldier or a strategic piece on a chessboard.
“We do need you,” she admitted, pulling her arms back under her cloak and shivering slightly. “But, Alex, it’s more than that.Ineed you.”
He barked out a humorless laugh. “Yes, to fight your uncle. We’ve established that.”
“That’s not what I meant!” Her eyes flashed with the most frustration he had ever seen in her, and she took a deep, steadying breath. “I mean, yes, I need your help with my uncle. You’re the only one who can do this. But I also just…I care about you, Alex! And not just because you’re strong and powerful and the key to getting Stahlmaus off the throne, but because even underneath that grumpy exterior you’re kind and thoughtful and selfless. You listen when I ramble, and you never make me feel like less than I am.” Her eyes were shining with unshed tears. “I think…I think I might even be starting to love you.” The last words were a whisper, almost inaudible in the wind.
Her words brought an ache to Alex’s heart. “And what if I told you I didn’t want to do this?” he whispered wearily. “I’m tired of wars, Celesta. I’m tired of fighting someone else’s battles, of being nothing more than a nameless, faceless weapon.”
She frowned and searched his face in confusion. “But Alex, what he’s doing iswrong. He’s trying to force his control over all of Faerie.”
“So, find a way to stop him. It just doesn’t have to be at my expense. I'm done fighting in other peoples' wars.” He pulled the strap of the bag that held the mirror shards over his head and held it out to her.
“What are you doing? You need to return to your realm to stop the curse.”
“I’ll find a way to get there.”
“So what? You’re just running away?” Celesta’s voice rose, and her eyes flashed.
“I’m not running,” he stated calmly. “I’m choosing not to fight.”
“Sometimes it’s the same thing! When fighting is the right thing to do, choosing to stay away is the same as running.”
“Goodbye, Celesta.” Alex turned on his heel and started walking back towards the waypoint.
“Alexander Monde! Stop being such a…such a hard-headednutand come back here!”
He ignored her words and kept going. He was fairly certain he could remember the song Celesta had used to get them to Summer. His best bet was to return to Fleurzon and hope that Drosselmeyer would return before the curse finished him off. Perhaps Lowen would be able to perform another of his slowing spells.
A harsh laugh escaped him. A week ago, the idea of magic would have made him roll his eyes, and yet, here he was. He was trudging through Faerieland with a curse in his veins, pinning all his hopes on a wizard and his apprentice. That very morning he had used his music to perform magic himself. He remembered the feeling of satisfaction that had filled his chest when he looked out over the audience who had been uplifted and encouraged, walking away from his performance better than they had been when he started.
Even more than all of that, the woman who had finally managed to capture his heart was magical herself. She was apixie. Shehad wings. The thought of Celesta made his breath catch, and he swallowed against the lump in the back of his throat. Hadn’t he known, from the very beginning, that allowing himself to develop any sort of feelings for her would only lead to heartbreak? It was better this way, better to cut things off before they had had a chance to fully develop, before he was left with anything more than the painfulmight-have-beens.
Guilt gnawed at him as he walked, and the further from Celesta he got the more he began to regret his angry words and hasty departure. He had acted prematurely. Yes, he was tired of fighting and killing, but Celesta had a point. Stahlmaus was using his abilities to bully and manipulate his way to power. He seemed to be the kind of person who would not cease until someone stronger and more powerful put him in his place, and so far, no one in Faerie had been able to do that.
And wasn’t he a soldier, sworn to protect the innocent and those unable to fight for themselves?
Alex looked back over his shoulder. He could see Celesta’s small form in the distance, with the bag slung over her shoulder while she carefully made her way across the frozen ice of the lake. She looked so tiny and vulnerable and alone, but even from far away Alex could see the determined set of her shoulders and the steady pace of her steps. The little pixie had to know that she would be facing the mouse king on her own, and yet she didn’t shy away from the task ahead.
That was the thought that finally did him in. “Oh, blazes,” he muttered under his breath as he turned around and started retracing his path.This is why I went to war in the first place–so that people like Celesta wouldn’t be left to face the enemy alone. That woman will be the death of me.
But she also was the one who had reminded him of things in life worth living for.
A sharpcrackechoed in the cold air, followed by a scream. Alex looked up from his feet just in time to see Celesta’s hands above her head as she slipped through the ice.
He spurred his legs into action, with every step cursing his stiff and unresponsive limbs. It felt like an eternity before he reached the lake. Alex could see Celesta struggling to keep her head above the water as she gripped the sides of the ice, desperately trying to pull herself out.
“I’m coming!” His panic was a living, breathing thing that barely allowed his words to escape. He half-skidded, half-ran across the ice to where his little ballerina had fallen in, arriving just in time to see her pale arms disappearing into the dark, murky water below.
Alex threw off his jacket and boots and jumped into the icy lake, the shock of the cold water nearly causing him to gasp. He pushed off the ice and dove down, kicking as hard as he could after Celesta’s limp, slowly sinking form.
