‘I tolerate you,’ I corrected.
He nudged my shoulder. ‘We’ll get there. Before long it’ll be full-on adoration.’
Robbie growled.
‘Respectful, sisterly adoration,’ Hanlon hastily amended.
‘Come on,’ I said. ‘Let’s blow this joint. I want to get home.’
‘There’s no place like it,’ Hanlon said wistfully. And I wondered if he was thinking of the den that would soon become my home too.
When we arrived at my flat, Mrs Abernathy was leaving. She looked fetching in bright turquoise, and she eyed my male escorts with interest.
‘Where do you find them, dear?’ she asked in a hushed whisper that all the ogresdefinitelyheard. ‘Such hunks.’
I leaned in conspiratorially. ‘They’re friends of my fiancé’s. They’re all very nice.’
She patted my hand. ‘I’m glad to hear it.’
‘How’s it going with Mr Jones?’
She waved a hand. ‘I caught him having cake with Barbara Frenton!’
I wondered if that was a double entendre. ‘Cake?’
She shook her head in disapproval. ‘Yes! They were holding hands and everything.’
‘Oh.’ I wasn’t sure what to do with that. ‘I’m sorry?’
‘We can rip his head off,’ Hanlon offered.
She blinked several times. ‘Well, isn’t that a kind offer, but I wouldn’t want you to go to any trouble on my behalf. I heard from Edith that he can’t get it up anyway.’
‘I’m sorry to hear that, Mrs Abernathy. No joy at the ducks, huh?’
‘Oh zero. It was a real disappointment. I know that at our age things don’t always work as they should, but he said all sorts of things that … well, it was false advertising. And holding hands with Barbara was the last straw. You just don’t know where she’s been!’
I stifled a laugh. ‘Understandable.’
Mrs Abernathy lowered her voice, looking at Hanlon. ‘He won’t really rip Gerald’s head off, will he?’
‘Oh no. He was just joking. He has a funny sense of humour. It’s an acquired taste. Like Marmite.’ I smiled too brightly. ‘Anyway, must be off.’
We continued up the stairs to my flat. The ogres swept in, doing a full security check. Only when they were certain the apartment was secure did they leave Robbie, Loki and me alone.
Except we weren’t alone, not truly, because Dad was here too.
‘Dad,’ I called as I shut the door on the ogres’ retreating backs. ‘We’re home.’
He flicked the lights on and off once in acknowledgement, but they flickered on and off a few more times and then he turned the kettle on and off too.
He’d been worried, I realised. We’d been away for days.
‘Sorry,’ I said. ‘We didn’t mean to scare you. I had to recharge at the Storyhouse for a few days.’ And recoverfrom accidental poisoning in hospital, but he didn’t need to know that bit.
I moved to the dining room and sat at the table. Robbie grabbed me a much-needed Dr Pepper and I told my dad the events of the past couple of days as succinctly as I could, and as calmly and dispassionately as I would relay them to Thackeray tomorrow.
When I was done, I took a long sip from my cold can.
