My protector, my strength, my anchor. I knew he would remain by my side and help with whatever was going to be thrown our way. I knew I would not be nearly as okay if it weren’t for him.
To Julian.
Julian and I had been best friends growing up. He had always been a source of light in the darkest hours back in the Facility. He had saved my life. Protected my daughter.
How does he not hate me for what our promise put him through?
Julian continued tugging us along, through a door, back down the passageway until we stopped outside of my room.
“I’ll keep watch outside,” Levi offered, bending over and kissing me on the cheek, leaving a trail of fire as he spoke softly into my ear. “Talk to him.”
Straightening back up, Levi inclined his head to Julian.
Julian quirked his lips, pulling us back into my room.
The bed took up most of the space, and unlike Griffin’s room, it didn’t have a desk or bathroom.
“You need to get some rest.” Julian wasn’t able to close the door back until I got on the bed. But once he had, he didn’t move, simply standing at the foot watching me with a pensive gaze.
“Julie, what is it?” I asked in concern, moving to the end of the mattress and reaching for him.
He gulped in air at the question, his eyes glazing over, his body shaking.
It was clear there was trauma laced into his reaction, that he was in a trance-like state.
Concern propelled me into action, grabbing hold of his hands, I physically tugged him to me. I guided him into a sitting position on the edge of the bed in front of me. On my knees behind him, I wrapped my arms around him, my hands landing on his chest, my fingers digging into his cotton shirt.
“It’s okay. Just breathe. You’re here,” I hummed, breathing long and deep behind him as guidance.
“Raven.” He fell against me, choking out a sob. “Who am I? Who am I?” His voice broke and my heart with it.
“You’re Julie. Julian. My best friend. A kind man who would do anything to keep those he loved safe.”
“I’m a prisoner. I’m a player. I’m a game warden. I’m the host,” he panted.
He jumped to his feet, the shock causing me to fall back on the mattress. He twisted and then he was on top of me.
His hands landing on each side of my shoulders, his knees on the outside of my thighs, trapping me in place.
His eyes met mine. They were unfocused, swirling in a thousand past lives of agony.
My hands came up, cupping his cheeks. “It’s okay, Julian. You’re safe now. You don’t have to be anybody else. Just beyou.” Closing my eyes, I felt as he slowly relaxed above me, his hard body turning soft against mine. “As the Shadow, I was always forced into a different persona. I couldn’t exist as myself either, and if I did, I would be killed.”
“I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have been made to go through that. Anadil… She… She told me as it was happening. I felt helpless.”
My eyes whipped open. “She was with you?”
Julian inclined his head, his nose brushing mine. My pulse sped up as the air between us cycled.
“She was nearby the entire time. So was…” Julian fell down just a bit more, his lips grazing mine as he spoke. A thick electricity filled the air with angry static. “Sparrow.”
The shock split open the moment. “Can you… Can you tell me about her? Please?” The question was loaded, it left me weak. I was not sure if I could handle it, but I desperately wanted to know anything he could tell me.
Julian rolled over, landing next to me, readjusting to wrap me in a cocoon.
The ebb and flow between us was familiar. Our energy was synchronic. Just as it had always been.
Turning into him, I listened to his heart beat. It was much calmer now than it had been under my hands. His lean frame, rippled with a subtle strength as he squeezed me tighter. In our youth, we often laid on the floor, staring up at ceilings, and in the silence between our heart beats, the nostalgia crept in tangling its way inside my chest.
