“When the chief of staff called, he just said for me to get down to the hospital. That there’d been an accident, but I knew she was dead. He spoke to me in that same soft tone he used with families when telling them their loved one had died. Until he called, I just thought Val didn’t answer my text because she’d hopped in the shower or… I didn’t worry, because I thought shewas fine. But she wasn’t. Now, every time I can’t get a hold of someone, I can’t breathe. All the worst scenarios play on repeat until I know they are safe.”
A pain, echoing his, twinges in my own chest as I think of each time he’s grumbled about me not answering my phone through the years. On the surface, what appeared as just grumpy Garrett was actually him reliving the worst fifteen minutes of his life.
“Is that why you hold people at a distance?”
“I’ve never been the life of the party like Anker or my siblings, but it just got easier to manage the anxiety about something happening if I didn’t have to deal with people. Then you and Anker came along. Your brother will not let anyone ignore him, and you… I couldn’t ignore you if I tried.” He snorts. “And believe me, I tried.”
“Youcertainly tried.” I poke him.
“And failed.” He kisses my temple. “You two were the first people I let in after Val died. I rarely talk to the friends I had back in Chicago. It’s too hard. Besides my family, I’ve just had me to worry about.”
“And Ditka.”
“My mom’s intervention.” His groan is laced with laughter.
“You love him.” My eyes widen. “Oh my, he’s home alone.”
“He’s okay. There’s an automatic feeder and plenty of water. And—” He reaches over me and grabs his phone off my bedstand “We can spy on him,” he says, unlocking his phone. “He’s currently asleep on the couch.”
“So, Ditka was your mom’s attempt to bring you out of your hard candy shell?” I cuddle into his nook.
“Yeah… She thought it was time for me to have someone other than myself to come home to.” Contentment radiates from him as he swipes his thumb over the phone’s screen.
“You’re a good cat dad.” I smile. “Is Ditka your first cat?”
“Yeah.” He reaches over and returns the phone to the bedstand.
“Did Val and you have pets?”
“No.”
I gnaw on the corner of my mouth. “What was Val like?”
“Only you.” Head tipped back, a laughing groan slips out.
“You know what to say if it’s too much.” I offer a sassy expression.
Despite the heaviness in the air from this conversation, it’s nice that we can tease one another. This may be one of my favorite parts about us.We’re an us!Even when we’ve argued in the past, there was always an undercurrent of playfulness. No matter how angry I’d get with him or the bite of our words to one another, deep down inside, I never worried that it was too much.
“You two would have liked each other.” He chuckles.
“We’re we alike?”
“No…not really. Very different from one another. She was no-nonsense and driven. Always focused on the next item on her to-do list.”
“Yeah, so my complete opposite.” I crinkle my nose.
“You’re not exactlynotdriven, Ms. Running a Marathon.” He squeezes me. “Val and you are different, but there are similarities. You’re both soft in the same ways. Kind. Loving. But, you’re also hard in the same ways. You stand your ground. You both push when needed. Though, she was a little less dog with a bone than you.”
“Woof,” I mock-bark, causing him to laugh.
“You’re both funny. Your humor is silly and quippy. Hers was dry. But you both always make me smile,” he says, trailing his fingers up my bare arm.
My heart swells with how relaxed he is. Each fact about Val is another gift. It’s not just him telling me about her but sharing himself with me. It’s all the reasons he loved her. All the thingsthat are important to him. We remain like that. Naked in my bed while he tells me about his wife.
This should be weird, but it wraps me up like a cozy blanket. We’re comfortable enough to talk about this. For him to share both his pain and joy about Val. For me to know that his love for her doesn’t diminish his feelings for me.
“She didn’t!” I roar with laughter.
