“I meant settle down. You’re the type of woman men settle down with, not the type they just have fun with.”
“Ouch.” I purse my lips.
Settle down with?That may be even worse than the woman someone settles for. I want to be the woman someone can’t livewithout. My father once said falling in love with my mother was like emerging from the deep end, the air filling his lungs and causing him to wonder if he ever knew how to breathe before that moment.
I want to be the air someone breathes.
“Damn it!” Head tipped back, he lets out a loud groan. “I don’t mean it like that. Stop making what I say negative.”
“Stop saying negative things.” I arch one eyebrow.
Raking his fingers into his hair, he releases a hard breath. “What I’m trying to say is he doesn’t deserve you. You’re better than this. Better than him.”
I toss up a hand. “Well, maybe if you had said that instead of making fun of Miles, I may have listened to you about him.”
“Like you’d ever listen to me.”
“I listen to you. Sometimes.” A small smile twitches at the corners of my lips. “I’m now taking vitamin D daily.”
Not all of Garrett’s critique is vexing. A lot of it is thoughtfulness wrapped up in his prickliness. Like how he lectures me to add more leafy greens to my diet, but still always brings my beloved garlic knots—along with salad that he will guilt me into eating—when we do movie nights at Anker’s.
“Good. Wouldn’t want you to die of scurvy.” A hint of a smirk plays in his timbre.
“That’s vitamin C.” A soft chuckle falls out of me. “You’re like the worst doctor ever.”
“You say that now, but who do you call when you’re sick? Not your brother who refuses to write prescriptions for family and friends, even if it’s just antibiotics.”
“What’s even the point of having a doctor brother if you can’t get drugs?” I mock pout. “Although, said antibiotics from you do come with a lecture about healthy eating and daily vitamin intake maintenance.”
His chuckle reminds me of a rainstorm on a summery day. It’s both refreshing and warm. It’s moments like this that make the memory of our first meeting and his grumpy, sometimes judgy ways, extra fuzzy. It’s almost as if he’s two people at times. There’s broody Garrett, and then there’s my Garrett. Though he’s not mine. He’s just my brother’s best friend. Even if, at times, it feels like he’s also my friend.
“Who’s Chase, by the way?” he says, rubbing at his nape.
“Chase?” Head tilted, I wrinkle my brow.
“You mentioned earlier that this is just like with Chase.”
“Of course I did,” I mutter to myself.
No one knows about Chase Rollins outside of Catherine, my therapist, Dr. Nor, and Anker. Though Anker only knows the CliffsNotes version that I had been seeing someone and then I wasn’t. If he knew the full truth, he would have got himself kicked off the university track team thanks to whatever retribution he took on Chase.
“He’s my Miles from undergrad. Only worse.” Shame blazes up my spine, and I pray that in the streetlamp’s pale lighting, Garrett can’t see the red I know flames my complexion. “I’m not the girl boys lined up for.” I swallow thickly. “Not the woman either.”
“Jensen—”
I hold up my palm. “Please keep whatever platitudes you’re about to say to yourself. They won’t make me feel better. I know the truth.”
“What truth is that?”
“I’m not the girl men want to have fun with.” Using his own words, I tip my gaze back to him. The ache of certainty twinges in my throat, making my words come out scratchy. “And despite what you say about me being the woman mensettle downwith, I’m not the type of girlfriend most men want.”
“What does that mean?” I can almost hear the pinch of his brow in his question.
“You know what it means. Don’t be deliberately obtuse,” I say, incredulous.
“Enlighten me.” He steps impossibly closer. The annoyance radiating from him takes up all the space in the scant inches between us.
“In my experience, most men don’t want a girlfriend they need to let know where the drink is on the table, so that she doesn’t accidentally knock it over. A girlfriend who can follow the crossfire conversation or knows when someone is addressing them without verbal cuing.”
