I stare at him, wonderingwhathe could’ve carried from the underworld that could cause so much damage. Wraiths possess. They don’t devastate entire swaths of land and whatever else might get in the way. They’re not that powerful.
“Just say it,”I demand, every muscle in my body going taut.“What is thisthinginside you?”
Without hesitation or preamble, the collision finally comes.
“It isNeri,”he signs.
Minutes later,I’m pacing the length of the cavern. I feel waylaid, enough that the stupor of a pretty face, mysterious eyes, and a beautiful body—a spell I’ve been under for many, many days now—has evaporated. I’d wanted to know everything that Alexus just told me—asked for it, even. But my mind can’t work things out anymore.
Though we’ve rested, I’m still sleep-deprived and half-starved, living off a little crow meat, bits of fruit, and sweetwater. My nerves are beyond rattled, and though I’m more lucid than I have been in days, my mind is in absolute chaos. Of all the horrendous possibilities, Alexus hasNeriinside him. Even if Neri is only partly responsible for the Frost King’s rule, he’s still a cruel, dead god who should be safely forgotten in the Nether Reaches.
For several more excruciating minutes, I’m sure that Alexus is lying, but when I ask if he’s being false and he denies it, I sense the truth in him.
He stands and leans against the cave wall, arms crossed over his bare chest, watching me. I stop pacing and toss his shirt at him.“Put it on,”I sign.
I’m angry. Confused. Upset. I don’t know what any of this means, but I don’t need all those muscles mucking up my thoughts even further. Enough damage has been done as it is. No wonder he seemed ancient. He’s been alive for three fucking centuries, and a god—old as a millennium—inhabits that body I have so craved.
I cover my face with my hands and try to steady my breathing.
At least we didn’t…
At least he didn’t let me…
Gods’ death. Neri could’ve so easily been inside me. I’m not certain how that works, if Neri would have known, but for me, there would’ve been no coming back from that. I would’ve felt his terrible presence staining my core for the rest of my days.
I whip around, my hands violent in their command.“There is more. I know it. Say it.”
“There’s no more. All is said that you need to know, and it ended just as I thought it might.” He holds up his hands in mock defense, but I see a hint of irritation in his eyes. “And rightfully so. I don’t blame you for your disgust. I had a feeling the truth might stop the wandering hands and feverish kisses.”
“Then you should have told me before!”I sign, pounding out the words.“And I do not have wandering hands!”
Nostrils flaring and tendons straining his neck, he pushes off the wall. “Oh yes, you do. Hungry, wanton hands. And Itriedto tell you. I told you I had darkness inside me. You wanted our darknesses to befriends,if I remember correctly. Verynakedfriends, by the way.”
He shrugs into his tunic, jerking the fabric down his tensing torso. I just stare at him, too bewildered to know what to do.
“Stop.” His voice splits the awkward silence. “Don’t look at me like I’m some freak of nature.”
“Youarea freak of nature,”I sign.
His stare goes dark and cold. “No. I am Tiressia’s salvation and damnation, though I have never wanted to be either. I keep Neri bound so that he cannot wreak havoc on the Northlands or any other part of this empire, and I have forfeited my own magick to do so. Three centuries ago, I stumbled out of the Shadow World with a shattered heart and lost mind, fighting a godsdamn deity who used me to escape his eternal punishment and was ready to tear down the world with his vengeance.” Alexus’s eyes gleam in the firelight. “AndIwon. That should tell you much about who I was then and who I am now. Also, a little thanks might be in order.”
His words sink in, and I’m left to wonder what would’ve happened if I’d let Alexus die on the green. Would Neri have died, too? Or would his spirit have been released?
“There will be more life after this,” he goes on. “You will see your sister, and you’ll figure out your future from there. If I’m not too late to save Colden, the kingdom and the vale will rebuild. If Iamtoo late, I guess I’m going on a quest to save this empire, and you’ll probably take to the seas and end up with someone who will make you a very happy woman.” Sighing, he drags a hand through his hair and rests his hand onhis hip. “We just have to get out of this godsforsaken construct first without doing things to one another that we’ll regret.”
We stand there, breathing hard, like we scaled the cliffs with our bare hands. Before I can reply, an infernal howl tears through the night. The horses sit up, their ears pricking, and Alexus and I look toward the tunnel.
He holds up a placating hand. “It’s all right. The wolves are just roaming, hunting for blood after the mess we left in the wood.”
Blood.
Slipping my hand beneath my arm, I tuck two fingers inside the hole in my bodice where the rocks dug into my skin. I flinch. The jagged wound stings at my touch, and it’s sticky wet.
I hold my bloody hand between Alexus and me and lift my arm to show him the cut.
His face blanches, and he immediately crosses the distance between us and inspects the injury, one hand firm on my waist. “You said you were all right.”
I wipe my fingers on my trousers and pull away from him to sign.“I thought I was.”
