I’m waiting by his door when he turns down the hall. I’m dressed for bed, my sleeping gown covered by a blue velvet robe. He’s carrying his traveling cloak, a striking figure in a black tunic and dark leather trousers. When he lifts his eyes, the sight of me halts his steps, but after a moment, he continues, if a little more hesitantly.
He pauses at the entrance to his chamber, stripping a pair of glovesfrom his hands. Without a word, he opens his door, swinging it wide, and gestures for me to enter.
I step inside, sweeping a glance over the room as his scent envelops me. The maidservants have stoked the fire for the night, and nests of candles—placed atop elegant silver stands—burn in each corner.
I rehearsed my words for hours, yet when I face Alexus, I don’t know what to say. He tosses his cloak onto a chair and steps toward me, until he’s suddenly inches away.
I breathe him in, and all the air in my lungs evaporates. Being near him like this is all it takes to send a rush of knowing through me.
I’ve lied to myself all day.
“I’m sorry,” he says. “I know you’ve endured enough since meeting me. I didn’t mean to bring you more suffering, but I had to tell you the truth about me and Colden.”
I shake my head and stare at my fidgeting fingers.“I know,”is all I say.
“And I wasn’t trying to push you away this morning in the library,” he adds. “I only wanted you to know that I don’t expect you to go any further than this.”
“I know that, too.”
He takes my hand, and after a weighted moment, presses a kiss to my palm. With a question in his eyes, he stares at me, his mouth lingering and so warm as he slowly presses kisses down my wrist.
My body comes alive when he touches me, but when his lips are on my skin, I feel as though the universe moves through me. It’s divine. Better than calling down the moon.
But I can’t bear it.
I jerk away, my heart pounding out a frantic rhythm. I bite my lip and lie for reasons I cannot completely discern, even as tears well in my eyes.
“I do not want this,” I sign. I wanthim, but I don’t want to risk my heart more pain and loss.“Wherever we go from here, it must be as friends and fellow fighters. Nothing more.”
He stands before me frozen, but his eyes glisten, making my heart hurt.
“Neither of us asked for this,” he says, his stare intent. “Neither of us expected to find ourselves fighting desire at every turn. Yet I’ve battled my want of you since that night in your village.” He leans closer, so close I smell the lavender soap on his skin. He touches his mouth to my ear, his voice a rugged whisper. “You can call mefrienda thousand times, Raina, but I know you feel this.”
This. Thisheat. Thisyearning. Thislonging.
Destroying me from the inside.
He pulls away and grazes the backs of his fingers along my cheek, drifts the ghost of a touch down my neck and across my shoulder. An involuntary shiver chases through my bones, and my nipples tighten.
“Tell me again that I am no more than a friend.” He trails his touch down the front of my robe, stopping over my restless heart. “Tell me that I am just the Witch Collector, and I’ll walk you back to your room and never mention what I feel for you ever again.”
My hands are fisted at my sides. I unfurl my fingers, intent on forming more lies and denials, but I can do nothing less than touch him.
I clutch the front of his tunic, running a thumb over that iron key. I breathe hard, uncertain what comes next.
Alexus settles his hands at my waist and draws me against him, making me dizzy with want. “What are you scared of?” His voice is so soft. “What is it you fear when it comes to me?”
I look up at him, and a thousand answers chase through my mind. The truth boils down to one thing, a truth I can’t hold inside anymore.
“That I will never let myself know what it is to be yours. That I will walk away and deny myself the chance to explore my feelings for you. All because of fear. And because I am terrified of losing anyone else.”
Alexus gives me the sweetest look, his expression tender. He slips his hand beneath my hair, across the back of my neck, tilting my head up, his thumb caressing my cheek. “That’s what you want?” He leans in, his breath warm against my mouth. “To know what it is to be mine?”
I close my eyes and clench my teeth, nodding, finding steadiness in his hold and against the solidity of his body as he flutters kisses across my jaw.
He takes my chin in his hand. “Will you let me show you?”
Any restraint I thought I possessed when it comes to this man vanishes. In answer, I nod and press my body against his.
