Even though he’s focused on Eryx, I doubt it would take much for Neri to catch my scent, even from a distance. I just don’t know how close he has to be before any hopeful anonymity is a lost cause. I won’t let that concern deter me, though.
If either of us is the master in this game, it’s me.
By the time I turn down the sandy road where Ingrid’s tall, crooked home sits nestled between more tall, crooked homes, I find myself wondering how Neri discerns between scents at all. Particularly enough to single out one person amongst thousands and hunt him down. This city is brimming with aromas, fragrances, and even fetid odors. They’re strong, often pungent, but altogether powerful. With every gust, I feel assaulted by the scent-laden air. I can’t imagine what the wolf must experience while prowling these streets.
When I reach Ingrid’s black door, I clang the knocker numerous times, expecting to be met any moment by either her son or her own stark, white face and those kohl-rimmed green eyes. But no one answers.
I knock again and step back from the home. The mother and son could be anywhere in Malgros.
Sitting on her stoop, I wait for a long while, watching the street as people mill about and the sun begins a slow slink into the horizon. Eventually, a dove flaps into a nearby tree to roost, startling me from my daze.
As the bird coos a sad song, I sigh at the coming dusk. It’s hard to walk away after so much effort to get here, and even harder thanks to the dream about my mother. But as the light of day further fades, I get up and decide to start the trek back to the tor.
Then I glance to my left, toward the crying dove. The golden hour’s light, dim though it might be, glows against the white stone facade of the Northland Watch’s barracks which sit upon a hill. The base’s torch lights are being lit for the evening, illuminating the garrison’s command post like a beacon.
I remember Ingrid’s advice the last time I saw her. If we wanted to unearth memories, we needed to stroll by the barracks and spend time on the beach. Wedidstroll past the command post after leaving her home, but I’d been so distracted by having just learned that I supposedly lived here as a child that I didn’t truly attempt to make any sort of connection. Now, I have an entirely different mindset. Gone is the denial. Acceptance has certainly arrived.
But I want answers. And I want more memories.
I reach into my jacket pocket and unfold the passage papers I took from Zahira’s office. Papers for oneGabriella Gusa, former lieutenant of the Western Fleet.
I’m certain I don’t look the part. And if I’m questioned, I will undoubtedly encounter trouble. But I turn down the road and make my way to the Northland Watch’s barracks anyway, a dove singing at my back.
* * *
“Papers?”
With my cloak closed tight against the wind, I hand over what I have to the guard at the barracks’ main gate. Lanterns burn on either side of the window he leans through, helping him see against the falling light as he inspects the details.
“The Western Fleet? What business do you have here?”
I concentrate on maintaining the glamour I’m barely holding onto and dig up the name Fia provided in her meeting hall. “Admiral Castalan is here to meet with your leadership. I’m just part of the convoy. We’re being put up in Brear Hall, but I thought I’d stop by the barracks to see a friend.”
He arches a brow and looks over the papers again. “I’ve heard nothing about Castalan being here.”
There are two types of military personnel currently inhabiting this city. One is filled with people like the guards back at the tor who simply want their city back and hope that war never touches their shores.
But there are others, too. I don’t know their number, but some believe we’re better together, even if that means uniting with a force like the East. They can’t see past the idea of the Tiressian flag that hangs above their doors, of a unified empire.
I want unity as well, but not at the cost of living under the Prince of the East’s or Thamaos’s rule. We don’t yet know what Thamaos has in store, but it has not escaped me that he’s done all of this for a reason, one that I’m certain has to do with more than just exacting revenge on my sister.
As for this particular guard, I can’t know which way he leans. One wrong word could shift the tide quite quickly.
I just shrug and decide to feign stupid. “You know how things are. We’re often the last to know.”
Unexpectedly, he reaches out and jerks my cloak open, revealing the absence of a uniform beneath. His eyes narrow.
Before he can say anything, I lean in and add as much coldness to my voice as I can. “Listen. I’m here on business for Castalan and Eryx. Hold me up one more minute. I dare you.”
In the short moments after that, I wonder if this is worth the risk. If I’ll recall anything at all about my childhood by being here. Anything that truly matters to my life in the here and now. Something whispers to my soul that itdoesmatter, though. Something that says I need to be here.
I’m not given further time to contemplate my choices, because the guard returns my papers. “Enjoy your time, lieutenant.” He nods me onward. “Visiting hours end at midnight.”
17
NERI
The moment Thibault and I enter the front door of Starworth Tor, I know that Nephele isn’t here. Her telltale scent normally drenches the air like liquid sugar, making my mouth water. Tonight, though I can tell everyone else is here, I only pick up the slightest ghost of her fragrance.
