His voice is calmer than I expect. Too calm for the moment. For the man I know, anyway.
As the light slanting through the window dims further, I realize that where I’ve been out of sorts for most of the day, Alexus has had hours to come to terms with all that’s happened, to process that Colden is in Quezira for the prince’s sake and that my sister is in an unreachable time and place.
“Hey,” I say, forcing his chin up. “How are you holding up?”
He twists his lips into a grim frown as I lower my hand back with his. “I’m… functioning. It just all makes sense now. I still don’t remember those days with Raina, even after everything Fleurie said. And I’m not sure if I will ever regain the memories that were taken from me. But it all makes so much sense.”
I sit up and slide back against the pillows, groggy but focusing on what my friend has to say. “Tell me how.”
He scrapes his fingers through his hair. “There’s so much. I don’t really know where to start. My mind has been connecting pieces for hours.” His distant gaze falls to our hands. “But there’s one moment I feel I should’ve questioned more than I did.”
“Which one?” I ask when he pauses.
“During the attack on the green in Silver Hollow, when I first came face to face with the prince, he called me‘old friend.’I didn’t understand at the time since we’d only ever met once, at Shara Palace some three decades ago. I certainly didn’t consider us friends after that visit. I suppose he didn’t understand why he said it either, though I believe his subconscious knew. I think it recognized me. Just likemysubconscious recognized Raina.”
I blink at him, confused. “What do you mean,recognizedher?”
He shrugs. “She never stood out to me before. Not until these last few years, even without magick to draw my eye. I began finding myself compelled to look for her when I reached Silver Hollow each Collecting Day. And when I’d find her, I couldn’t force myself to look away, even though she never so much as offered me a glance. I think that happened because some centuries-old part of my mind remembered her face. Not the soft face of her as a girl, someone I never knew, but the stony, fearless face she acquired in these most recent years. As a woman.” He lets out a shaking breath. “I think I was rememberingmyRaina. My virago.”
“Oh, Alexus.” I touch his face as tears pour from my eyes.
I cannot imagine his torment. I cannot imagine any of this. What must my sister be enduring right now? What fear must she feel after being ripped from everyone she loves and sent back to a time when the man who has claimed her heart no longer recognizes her?
“Raina is strong,” I tell him, as much for him as for myself. “Do you hear me? Strong and smart and so very brave. According to Fleurie, she figured out how to leave that time, which means she mastered her abyss. I believe with my whole heart that she left knowing she could return to you. Tous.”
Before he can reply, the door to my room swings open. Neri is there, tall as the massive door frame itself and—like Alexus—a little less bloody than before. His eyes instantly find me, and just as quickly, I build a construct around my mind to keep him out.
If he realizes what I’ve done, he says nothing. He simply sweeps his arm over the threshold, and a maid appears from the hall with a tray of food in hand. Another follows and sets to lighting the oil lamps, sconces, and candles for the evening.
As I wipe the tears from my cheeks, Alexus stands and moves his chair aside, allowing the woman space to arrange the tray over my lap. Discreetly, he scrubs his forearm across his eyes.
The maid spreads a napkin over my tunic and removes the lid from a copper crock. “This dish has been sent straight from the queen’s kitchen. It’s the Drumera family’s specialty for a weak body and spirit:tisan suahvaneis. It’s been long simmered in Fia’s grandmother’s darra, over a fire manifested and blessed by our queen’s own hands. It’s nothing more than broth, lentils, vegetables, herbs, and spices—and a touch of magick chanted into its essence by the queen for healing.”
I lean over the pottage, feel the steam curling up to touch my face, and inhale a breath of coriander and lemon. The scents—usually so comforting—should inspire a revival of hunger, dormant since yesterday given our plight. Instead, I’m struck with repulsion.
As my stomach turns, I lean back from the food and even the short glass of wine, aware too late that I’m making a terrible face.
The maid clasps her hands at the middle of her chest, and her forehead scrunches into an array of wrinkled lines. “I assure you, miss. This tisan is quite appetizing.”
I try to tame my expression, but the nausea is strong.
“You need your strength, witch,” Neri says from the door.
If I didn’t find it so hard to believe, I’d say that’s genuine concern and perhaps even a littleguiltshining in his eyes.
Alexus stares the god down with a look that could flay. “At least we agree on something.”
Wonderful. That something wouldhaveto be me.
It doesn’t matter whattheywant, though. I’m not sure I can manage a single bite to appease them. I don’t want them fussing over me, though, so I pick up the spoon nestled beside the bowl, play a bit in the stew, and say, “I’ll do my best.”
“Very good,” the maid replies. Satisfied, she turns toward Alexus and Neri. “Gentlemen, the queen and her head scholar are waiting for you in the meeting hall. She asked that I escort you both downstairs.”
Neither Alexus nor Neri look thrilled by this news.
Feet spread wide—one foot in my room and the other in the hall—the wolf leans his long spine against the doorframe and folds his massive arms. “She’s preparing a strategy to defend against Thamaos.”
Alexus tightens his fingers into fists. In fact, everything about his stature turns rigid with annoyance. I know him well enough to know that he doesn’twantto strategize with Fia, which scares me because it means he has other ideas, none of which Fia will approve of, and none of which are probably safe or wise given my sister’s location. I understand his sorrow, his pain, but I need him tonotflip our world upside down again.
