As it happens, our makeshift bed is surprisingly warm and cosy. With sofa cushions spread out on the floor, blankets wrapped around them to keep them somewhat in place, I sink into the bed with great relief. My arm is starting to hurt a little now and it’s like Dion knows this as he inspects his artwork before he turns the light off after asatisfied little grunt. In the dark, he slips under the weighted blanket and lies next to me. I itch to reach for him but he lies still, and in the dull light coming through from the street light filtering into the front room, I can see him staring straight up at the ceiling.
“Are you going to be okay with your bag?” Dion asks. “Did you bring any spares?”
“No, but I changed it just before I left my house. That’s why I was late. I normally don’t need to change it more than once a day. I’m assuming we’ll be out of here some time tomorrow?”
“I hope so,” Dion says, but then he turns his head quickly to catch my eye. “Not that I want to not be here with you. I just…I just would like the option to leave. And have a shower, you know?”
“I understand,” I say and I snuggle a little closer to him, wrapping my arm around his soft, full stomach. “Is this okay?”
He holds onto my arm, keeping me in place, and he moves his arm so it tucks under my head, bringing me onto his chest. “This is okay.”
This is okay. This is okay. This is okay.I repeat his words as I feel sleep creep closer and closer.
Understatement of the decade,I think, and I’m about to say it but Dion leans down, kisses my forehead with a sigh, and it doesn’t need to be said. I believe he knows it too.
There was always something about him. And now, hopefully, there’s something about us.
EPILOGUE
DION
EIGHT MONTHS LATER - JULY
“It feels like a dream.A bad dream,” I admit to Benji as we approach the gymnasium’s double doors.
“Oh, it’s not that bad,” he says, swinging our joined hands like he always does. “It certainly won’t be as awful as our Leavers’ Ball.”
“Well, I’m not planning on eavesdropping on conversations that aren’t actually about me, that’s for sure.”
“And I don’t plan on shitting myself in the disabled toilet.”
“No fear of that now you’ve got your magic bag.” I squeeze his hand.
“Exactly.” He taps his stomach. “Are you saying the nostalgia isn’t getting to you at all?”
I don’t have time to answer his question as we walk through the double doors and are immediately accosted by a small group of what I assume to be final year pupils. They rush up to Benji and attack him with a deluge of questions and complaints and requests.
“Mr Smith! The food hasn’t arrived yet!”
“Sir, the DJ needs another power cable. Do you know where we can find one?”
“Oh, you’re tall, Mr Smith, can you help us do the final few decorations?”
Benji keeps hold of my hand but also stills and takes in a deep breath. “Raj, the food is due to arrive in an hour. They will call my phone when they’re outside. Elliott, I’ll go and find a cable right away. And Olivia, I will then come and help you with the decorations.”
Satisfied with these responses, the teenagers’ eyes all seem to drop to our joined hands. “Who’s this, sir?” Elliott asks in way that is both coy and accusatory.
Benji smiles broadly as he answers, “This is Dion, my boyfriend.”
“Hi, everyone,” I say, while straightening my shoulders and taking up a bit more space. It seems ridiculous that at the grand old age of thirty-four I have to remind myself not to be intimidated by teenagers. But maybe I can, all too easily, recall just how judgemental and scathing they can be because that’s exactly the kind of teenager I was.
“He’s way too cool for you,” Raj says with no apparent shame.
“So are you gay or bi or queer or what, sir?” Elliott’s confidence knows no limit.
“You look cute together,” Olivia says and she catches my eye. I see it then. This indescribable look of recognition, like parts of our brains start speaking to each other, in languages nobody else can hear. Olivia is trans. I smile back at her.
“Right, enough of this.” Benji waves his free hand around, dismissing his pupils without passing further comment. “Raj, stand by. Elliott, I’ll go find you yourpower cable and Olivia, don’t go breaking your neck on the ladder.”
