“Orion. Only you can protect yourself. A true friend would’ve respected your privacy.”
I gave him a rueful smile at how little he believed that definition of friendship. “Your father, Gabriel, and others thought the same thing at first. You can see how well that worked out. I’m sorry for being such a jerk.”
Zeke nodded, which given the moment was the best response. I’d moved away from my stoic isolationism, but he didn’t know what it meant. He had no idea because I’d given him such mixed signals. He tried to get answers, but I’d refused to address the question.
“You wanted to talk about what happened at the farmhouse, but what happened before we got there is more important.”
I motioned for him to sit on the bed, and when he did, I joined him. “Lael’s gone. I’m not even sure the Lael I thought I knew existed. Learning he’s behind this makes me sad and angry, but there’s no going back to him. That decision was made decades ago.
“I didn’t want to talk in the kitchen because I needed to be sure I could give you what you deserve from me. You want me to answer honestly, but I’m not sure you’ll like the answer.”
Zeke’s body shook, and his shoulders sagged because I was that stupid and inarticulate. “I can’t promise I can give it to you, but Icanpromise I’ll try with all that I am. Whether that’s enough is up to you.”
Hope bloomed in his eyes. “Why wouldn’t I like that answer?”
I reminded myself he’d never felt the pain I experienced. “Because it’s not a guarantee. Ajax told me?—”
“Hold on.” His hands shot up and he put one on my sweaty shirt. “You spoke to Jax?”
“He was my best friend before I cut everyone off. I wasn’t sure he was the right person to call, but I had no one else.” I covered his hand with mine. “He told me not to give you anything less than my all because if I did, he’d bring Brenda with him and your brothers to kick my ass.”
“That sounds like Jax.” Zeke laughed. It was light and happy, and free of the pain he’d poured into his music.
I liked the sound. “I told him I’d tell you the truth and let you decide how best to guard your heart.”
I swore I’d never give someone control over me, but Zeke had all the power. It was frightening, and I had flashes to those bleak dark days when I refused to see anyone or even go outside. My hands shook waiting for his answer, and I wouldn’t blame him if he told me to leave.
“I don’t want that power over you, Orion, but I understand why you’re giving it to me.” He leaned closer. “Your promise is all I need. I trust what’s in your heart, just like you have to trust me.”
His lips touched mine, a tentative probe to confirm my words. His courage filled me with awe at the gentle soul who was stronger than any warrior I’d ever met. I put my hand behind his head so he couldn’t pull away.
The kiss was soft and gentle. It lasted only a few seconds, but it cleared away the last of the seventy years of pain, anger, and doubt I’d held onto. I smiled and saw my emotions reflected from Zeke’s face.
“I’ve never been a romantic, so I’m probably messing up again, but can we continue this after I shower?”
Zeke laughed. “That can go either way. Is there an offer to join you in that question?”
There was a nervousness behind the question, but no fear of rejection. Zeke told me what he wanted but handed me back the power to decide. I also knew without a doubt, I could say no without hurting him.
I hesitated, but not for lack of interest. “Yes? Does this require a talk about roles, positions, likes, and dislikes?”
“It can, but I’d be just fine getting clean and following up that first kiss with a few more.”
No one said it outright, but my relationship with Lael wasn’t healthy. He didn’t express a desire without there being negative consequences if I didn’t share his interest. Experiencing someone who nourished my soul was a giddy feeling.
“Join me, please?” I lacked his playful speech, but I didn’t want any misunderstandings anymore. I wanted him, and he needed to hear it.
“Yes. That would be amazing.”
Zeke
The shower in the master bathroom was wide, with a fat showerhead that covered most of the space. I adjusted the temperature before turning for the mouthwash I’d left on the counter. Orion had the bottle in his hand and had obviously taken a swig.
He held it out, and I swirled some of the blue minty liquid around my mouth.
Orion had this expression I could only describe as longing. Not in the lecherous or lustful way but as if he’d found something so perfect, he didn’t want to spoil the moment in case it disappeared. Of course, since that was how I felt, I was probably projecting.
“I know we said kisses in the shower, but Ireallywant to kiss you now,” I said.
