“Please.” I was grasping at the last threads of my restraint, ready to beg just to feel him.But it’s not fair to him!The warning burned through mymind even as my body screamed for his touch. His scent enveloped me, both heightening my desire while also making me feel inexplicably safe.
“I can’t. . . Rowan, Ineedsomething.”
Rowan’s eyes were shadowed, but I could sense the tension radiating from his body like heat shimmer off summer pavement. “I have. . . I have a toy. Would that help?”
My cunt clenched at the thought.
“Yes,” I said, my voice rough and hungry. “Please.”
He disappeared into his closet, and I heard rustling before he returned. The toy was small, silicone, and purple—my favorite color, though I doubt he knew that. It was a basic cordless massager, something easily purchased online. Discreet. It might be enough.
Or not, I thought, when all I wanted was to feel him deep inside me.
Consent, I chided myself viciously.
He handed it to me, carefully avoiding touching my fingers. “It is new.”
“Thank you,” the words came out shakier than I intended.
He turned to leave, and my traitorous mouth betrayed me. “Do you want to stay?”
I nearly regretted the words until I saw the way he stared at me. His entire demeanor darkened, his presence suddenly heavier, more dangerous. It was thrilling and terrifying, and so unbearably erotic I nearly came undone from his gaze alone.
But I knew it was only adding fuel to the inferno already consuming me.
He moved closer, clearly hesitant but unable to stay away. “Violet, I do not think you can truly consent right now—"
“I’m clearheaded enough to know what I’m asking, Rowan.” I snapped, unable to help the urgency threading through my words. “I don’t want to be alone, but I don’t want to force you into anything you don’t want.”
He stood inches from the bed now, and I saw the growing length of him straining against his gray sweats.
Oh my god, he does want me.That realization sent warm curls of pleasure straight to my core. I pushed further, begging him to hear the truth in my words.
“I don’t want you to accept out of some messed-up sense of duty. I’ll manage if needed.” Despite the strength of my words, my body tightened with anticipation, desire flooding through me so intensely I felt dizzy and weak at how delicious his cock looked.
Yes. I want that. You. Everything.
I must have spoken aloud without realizing, because his eyes widened slightly.
“Is that what you really want? Everything?” His voice had gone rough, scraped raw. “This?” His hand reached down, touching himself through his sweats, and I nearly lost control right then.
God, yes. I nodded. “Only if you want to.”
He closed his eyes, pain and desire warring across his features. I watched his jaw clench, watched him wage whatever internal battle was tearing him apart. Finally, his restraint cracked. “Of course I want to, Violet. But I will not fuck you. Is that alright with you?”
I scooted farther into the bed, making room for him. “Yes,” I whispered.
He climbed in—gray sweats, crisp white shirt, and all—and the mattress dipped beneath his weight. I caught his scent again, and my body reacted immediately, fresh arousal dripping between my legs.
We settled against each other, his chest to my back. I reached out tentatively, touching his forearm where it rested near my hip. He made no move to reciprocate, letting me lead.
“You can touch me,” I said softly. “I’ve been. . . coerced before. Touch is usually hard for me.” The admission cost me, scraping against pride and shame in equal measure. “But I want you to.”
Rowan was quiet for a long moment. “Violet—"
I shook my head, a rising tide of shame and guilt masked by the unrelenting desire threatening to shatter me. “Don’t, Rowan. I just needed you to understand. I feel safe with you. Only you. I wantyouto touch me.” And I meant it, with every scarred shred of my soul. Being held by him was like aloe on a burn, soothing despite the pain I knew would come later. I needed him to understand that this wasmychoice.
He let out a pained groan that vibrated through his chest and into my back. “When you talk like that, Violet, I cannot help but want to give you everything.”
