I close the distance between us as he stands up straight. “Zach, there’s something I have to tell you. Or want to tell you. Or Idon’t know, something you should know.” I stutter a bit, feeling anxious for some reason. It’s not that I think he’ll be upset or mad. It’s more so that I don’t really know if he'll even care or if I’m just making a big deal out of this.
“Whatever it is, you can tell me,” he says and despite the nerves that tangle in my chest, I sense reassurance from him. It’s safe. Something I’ve always felt from him but now that we’re closer, it means more than it ever has. I can trust him and he seems genuine when he says I can tell him anything.
“Well, first,” I start, deciding that I want to start with the other thing. “I have to ask you something.”
“Okay?” He raises his brows as he looks down at me, and I have to calm my nerves to get out the question.
I lower my voice and gently center my eyes over his. “Are your parents getting a divorce?”
His facial expression immediately contorts to something resembling worry, frustration, possibly even . . . fear.
“How did you hear that?” His tone raises a bit, and I look around to make sure no one is nearby before stepping in a bit closer. But I can sense that he tenses up and it puts me a bit on edge, worried that I’m overstepping.
“My mom,” I tell him and he sighs.
“Zach, I’m so sorry. I wish you would have told me. I didn’t know you were going through that.” I try my best to sound as comforting as I can, not really knowing how he feels about the whole thing.
“It’s new,” he says. “And I just didn’t think it was important.” I can tell he’s trying to hide his emotions again. I know it the moment his eyes move away from mine.
“Zach, of course it’s important,” I tell him, reaching out and placing my hand over his upper arm but he retreats.
“Hey, look at me.” I move into his sight, forcing him to focus his eyes on me and I can see that his demeanor changes ever so slightly.
“Are you okay?” I ask him and I witness as he tries to hold back something. Not tears. Not anger. But something deeper.
A loneliness.
I don’t even hesitate, I reach up and wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him in. It takes him a second, but he returns the gesture and wraps his arms around my waist. We hold each other like this in silence. He doesn’t need to say anything to me about it and I don’t need to ask anymore. I already know what this is doing to him. I know how hard he’s taking it and how hard he’s working to not let it show.
But I know.
“You’re not alone,” I whisper as I lean back and press my lips to his cheek.
I fall back on my feet and look up at him, but he doesn't let me go.
I can feel the walls coming down, but I won't force him to let me in completely if he doesn't want to. I know who Zach is and while I want to be someone he can come to, I know he'll talk to me about it when he's ready.
“What did you want to tell me?” he asks, changing the subject. And now I fear I might have relayed my information to him in the wrong order. Now, I’m worried that I stirred up his emotions and he might actually have a reaction to the news I’m about to tell him.
“Well, after you left yesterday. I got a text.”
“Okay.”
“It was from Drake.” I wait. Watching him as he just stares at me, and a few seconds pass before he responds.
“Drake,” he repeats calmly.
“Yeah. He’s on the-”
“I know who he is. What did he say?”
“Well,” I pause before taking a breath. “He asked me out. To homecoming.”
“To homecoming,” he repeats again and I can’t tell if he’s not bothered, concerned, upset, or what.
“Yeah.” I shift in his hold, realizing that his thumbs are running circles against the small of my back. I try my best to avoid the goosebumps he leaves in his wake, wanting to focus on what he’s going to say.
“And why didn’t you tell me this last night?” His tone seems to lower, like he’s trying not to raise it.
