I'm dying. Like, I think actual death is here to greet me this month. I mean, I’ve never experienced period pain like this before and I don’t know why my body is trying to take me out right now. But I was kind of embarrassed making the decision to leave school like that.
The only thing that is helping me survive right now is the very sad movie playing in the background and the last text that Zach sent.
Sunshine.
That’s new. And I think I like it better thanlittle one. Things between us have been good since Monday night. Granted, it’sonly been a few days but I think it kind of feels like it’s gone back to normal since he took me to his house. The night keeps replaying in my head on a loop; I can’t say I’ve felt anything like what I did that night. He let me in a little, something I can confidently say that no one else has been privileged too. Including Ashley. But it was nice to see a different side of him and to just exist with him in the moment for a while.
And then yesterday, he drove his bike to school. That’s something he hasn’t done in a while. I admit, I might have gotten a little territorial when the girls started to get a little hyper around him, just as they always do when he takes the bike. I couldn’t help but roll my eyes as I watched him get flocked and there was really nothing I could do about it. But he texted me later and told me he thought it was cute that he could tell I was a little jealous and I simply told him that I can’t be jealous of something I don’t have.
Okay, correction. Ryen took my phone and texted him that, but she’s not wrong. I don’t reallyhaveZach, at least not yet. And honestly, I’m not even sure how that truly comes about. When do we discuss becoming serious with each other?
Ryen also suggested that if I wanted to make another bold move—adding to the list of me confessing that I like him, holding his hand in the car, and telling him that I wanted to kiss him—then maybe I should ask him if he could take me for a ride on the back of his bike sometime.
I won’t lie, it sounded silly at the time, but when I woke up this morning, I talked myself into just going for it and I thought that maybe I was going to ask him after he got out of practice today. But then mother nature hit me like a ton of bricks by first period and now I might never get the chance because . . . I’m dying.
RIP ME.
I text Ryen and she sends me a ton of skull emojis.
make sure you tell that man to avoid the chocolate.
Why would he bring me chocolate?
because most guys trying to take care of a girl on her period always go for the chocolate. it’s this weird thing that hardly ever does anything. it’s all in the head.
You really think he would?
he’s a guy.
I switch over to my text thread with Zach. I know he’ll be busy for at least another hour but I text him anyway.
Hey, just wanted to make sure that you didn’t plan on picking up any chocolate while you were at the store.
And then jump back over to mine and Ryen’s messages.
There, I told him.
good.
How’s work going?
slow. I mean, who comes to the theater on a wednesday anyway?
Lol well at least you don’t have to do much.
this is true. have you put any more thought into homecoming?
Ryen, I can’t go with Zach. How would we get away with that?
you mean with your brother? idk. just say you’re going as friends?
Yeah because that makes a lot of sense.
uh, i think it does. are you and Zach not allowed to be friends?
but seriously, Cadie. you have to figure out a way to go with him. you two would be so cute and if you don’t figure it out, you’re going to have to experience a lot of girls trying to shoot your shot.
I’m not going to bring it up. If he brings it up, then we’ll see. And I think no matter what, I’m going to experience that. It’s not like we can really tell everyone that we’re going.
