Later, when he brings me water, I let my fingers brush his as I take the cup. He goes still, and I see his jaw tighten.
"Thank you," I say softly, looking up at him through my lashes.
He nods and moves away, but I can feel the tension radiating off him.
This is working. He wants me, and he's fighting it, and every moment he fights it makes him more invested in me. More determined to save me.
As evening falls, he lights the kerosene lamp, and the cabin fills with warm, golden light. It's almost cozy, if you ignore the howling wind outside and the fact that we're fugitives hiding from men who want to kill us.
“So what’s next?” I ask finally, curled up in my nest of blankets on the bed. “What happens when the storm dies down enough that we can leave?”
Kazimir lets out a breath, tapping his fingers against the wood as he sips a cup of hot, black coffee. I’m sure it’s not the kind of coffee he’s used to, but he truly doesn’t seem to mind. He seems as comfortable in this setting as he ever did back in Ilya’s world—maybe even a little more so.
“I’ve been trying to guess at where we’re at,” he says after a moment. “Based on how far I think we got from the compound, and where the compound is in relation to the city. If I’m right, I think there might be a safe house that I know of, about twenty or so miles from here.”
He must see the expression on my face, because he grimaces. “I know. It’s a hell of a hike. But maybe after some rest and food, we’ll be better able to manage it.”
Weactually meansme. I know that he’d have no trouble hoofing it twenty miles, even through deep snow, but I don’t say anything. I know he’s trying to be polite.
“So a safe house means… what, exactly? Iosef doesn’t know about it?”
“He shouldn’t. There’s the possibility he’s come across it, but I don’t have a better solution right now. Once we get there, I’ll figure out how to get a message out to my contacts to extract us, and then I can get us back to Boston. Getting out of these woodsis the hard part; once I’ve gotten ahold of someone, we should be on our way back to civilization before long.”
Civilization. Boston. I wince.
“What if I don’t want to go back to Boston?”
Kazimir looks at me curiously, but all he says is: “I can’t do much about getting you anywhere else, Svetlana. I’m already sticking my neck out doing this, in more ways than one. I can get you home. After that, it’s up to you to figure out what to do next.”
A sudden flash of anger burns in my veins. If I had something in my hand, I’d throw it at him. Just like last time, he’s going to do the bare minimum to get me out of this and then abandon me. He doesn’t care what going back to Boston means for me or the danger I’ll face, the fact that I don’t have anything left there to ‘figure out what to do next.’
He doesn’t know that, though,a small voice in my head whispers.Just like he didn’t know before.
I shove the voice aside.
"And what about Ilya?" I ask. "Does he know you're doing this?"
Kazimir's expression hardens. "No."
Well, that’s interesting.I look at him curiously. "Why not?"
He's quiet for a long moment, and when he speaks, his voice is careful. "Because when it comes to this, what Ilya doesn't know won't hurt him. And because if you're smart, you'll keep quiet about this too."
There's a warning in his words. A threat, even if it's a gentle one.
"And what about you?" I ask. "What do you get out of this?"
Kazimir looks away from me. "I get to sleep at night knowing I didn't leave you to die."
“Again.”
His eyes snap over to me. “I didn’t leave you to die last time. You were alive. You walked out of there on your own.”
And look where you found me after that.I want to snap, but I don’t. I just swallow, looking away from him as the tension in the air thickens. I don’t want to tell him all the gory details of what happened either, all the betrayal and fear and pain. All he’ll do is pity me even more, and I don’t want that, either.
"What if Ilya finds out?" I ask finally. "What if he discovers you've been hiding me?"
"He won't.” Kazimir’s jaw tightens. “I’ll make sure of it.”
