“I haven’t even said when yet,” Electra says, and I stop. Fuck.
“Right. I just mean?—”
“Did I do something wrong, Amara?”
“What? No. Of course not.”
“Because I feel like something is going on. Like you’re not just avoiding going on dates. You’re avoiding me.”
“Electra. I would never avoid you. I just?—”
“I get that your job is important, but we have been best friends forever and?—”
“I’m seeing someone,” I blurt out, then close my eyes and bite my lips.
It’s quiet for a beat. Then?—
“Wait. Really? Like… a boyfriend?”
“Yes.”
I wait for the reaction. This could go so many ways right now.
“Wow. Why didn’t you tell me?! Okay, wait. I want to know everything, but I want to know in person. Please,please,can we meet for drinks?”
“Soon,” I smile. “But I actually have a date tonight.”
“When?” she asks impatiently.
“When it gets more serious,” I answer, and a pit forms in my stomach. It’s a lie.
“It’s serious enough that you’ve been blowing me off!”
“I’ve only kept it secret so I wouldn’t jinx it,” I say. Another lie.
“Alright, fine. But as soon as you figure out whether or not this guy is ‘the one’, I need to know. And I need to meet him to make sure you’re not wrong.”
The call ends, and my lipsticked pout is very much a frown.
The one.
The one what? The one man I basically idolized for months? The one I woke up for, lived for, dressed for, and worked for? Only for him to end up being the one I never knew?
Now he’s the one I can’t predict, the one I fear, the one who drives me utterly insane.
Yet still, the one I can’t stop thinking about.
I pop the lid back on my lipstick and rub my lips together. For now, I am not thinking about that. For now, I am going out to a fancy restaurant with a man who I used to fantasize over. This whole thing would have had me flat on my back if I’d known that this was where I would be one day, no pun intended.
Well. Maybe a little bit intended.
Still, I feel guilty about blowing Electra off so much. Even if she is a bit wild and does have a tendency to hook me up with lousy dates, she means well. She’s also lonely, and I can’t help but wish she had someone special. At least she wouldn’t be trying to hook me up with every guy she comes across who looks tall, dark, and desperate.
Speaking of desperate…
I look in the mirror again and I can’t help thinking it: I really do look good. Good enough that maybe Ransome will notice me. Actually notice me. I guess there is a part of me still hoping for that. As much as I preferred the times when I thought he was just an oil and gas steamroller, I suppose there is something sexy about being a next-in-line Bratvapakhan.
And who knows? Maybe I am Mrs. Ransome Rozanov material. Even if it is just for show. I personally think I look much better on his arm than Jenica ever could. I’m counting on it anyway. Because outside of this gritty, racy, wild world I have suddenly found myself a part of, I also have other people to think about. People who rely solely on me.
