“You done fucked up this time.” I look at the ceiling, closing my eyes and then finally getting out of bed. I walk down to the kitchen and open the fridge, grabbing the carton of eggs, then placing a pack of spinach on top of it and then mushrooms. Turning, I drop the items on the countertop right next to the six-burner stove. I’m opening the dishwasher to grab the bowl I need when my phone pings from the other side of the island. I walk over to see Kirby has just texted.
Kirby:
My turn to drive, I’ll get you guys on the way. I’ll pick up Jaxon first and then Knox.
Jaxon:
I’ll be ready in an hour.
Jaxon:
Roger that.
Me:
Roger two squared.
Kirby:
That sounds so stupid.
Me:
Why? It means me too.
Jaxon:
Then say me too and not two squared.
Me:
Okay, fine, me too.
Kirby:
That’s better, I almost cancelled my offer to drive you.
Me:
I’m making breakfast, do you guys want omelets?
Kirby:
I just had that.
Jaxon:
I have been up since five with my child, I’m ready for lunch.
Me:
It gets better.
I put the phone back, crack six eggs and whisk them to start making my omelet. I spray cooking spray into the pan and sauté the mushrooms, adding in a handful of spinach and then the eggs. I’m plating it up when my phone rings and I see it’s Josephine. The only reason I answer is because the kids are with her, and I know it’s the kids because she’s trying to FaceTime me.
I press the button, and the circle goes around before Nora’s face fills the screen. “Daddy!” she squeals happily. “Hi, Daddy.”
“Hey, princess.” I sit on the stool and prop the phone up. “How we doing this morning?” I ask her, taking a bite of my food.
