“Turn around and mind your business,” I tell him. “What are you, a fucking accountant all of a sudden?”
He laughs at me. “Listen, I know the girl; she’s really nice.”
“Then you go out with her, and you can do that polyamorous thing.” I take a sip of my ginger ale.
“Are you crazy? Ariella is enough for me.” He laughs. “Besides, I don’t think she would be into sharing me.”
“Yeah,” I scoff at him, “you are such a big prize and all.”
“Exactly,” he gloats, not getting my sarcasm.
“I think you should do it,” Kirby says. I close my eyes and count to ten, or else I’ll hit the seat in front of me.
“No one is fucking asking you,” I say with my eyes still closed. “This isn’t let’s do a vote and see where we eat tonight or rock, paper, scissors; who is going to go and get coffee in the lobby? It’s me going out on a date, and I don’t want to do it.”
“You are already doing it,” Jaxon points out. “You’ve banged at least four people since you got divorced. This can just be another one.” He stops speaking. “Actually, can you not bang her? It’ll be awkward when you ghost her and then I’m going to have to come to your defense on how much of a nice guy you are. Then it’ll make Ariella mad at you, because obviously you’re a pig.”
“Listen to yourself,” I tell him. “Even you are saying this is a bad idea.”
“He’s not saying that,” Kirby says. “He’s just telling you not to be an asshole to the girl. Take her out, have a meal with her. Who knows? You might like her.”
“Or she might not like you at all,” Jaxon pipes in, “then that might be awkward.”
I turn to look at him. “Why wouldn’t she like me?” I suddenly feel the need to defend myself.
“Well, for one, you are closed off,” Kirby explains, “then throw in the fact that you are a bit bitter about your divorce.”
“I swear to God,” I lean forward, “if there was an eject button on this plane, I would press it.”
He laughs. “No, you wouldn’t.” He turns back around now.
“Can you just think about it?” Jaxon says. “Take the night and, I don’t know, make a list of pros and cons about going.”
“If I say I will think about it, will you shut the fuck up and leave me in peace?” I ask him and he shrugs.
“Sure,” he replies, “also it would be on Friday.”
“I have the kids this week,” I remind him.
“I can babysit,” Jaxon offers, and now I’m the one shaking my head. “What? I can babysit. They literally are old enough to take care of themselves,” he points out. “As long as I put them to bed and make sure they don’t hurt each other, it’s golden. Do you know how good it would feel to ask them what’s wrong and they answer you, instead of you playing twenty questions with someone who only says ma and dog?”
“Leave me alone,” I tell him, eating my chicken as he finishes his meal and then closes his eyes to sleep.
We land earlier than expected, and when we walk off the plane, he shouts over to me as I open my trunk to put my luggage away, “Don’t forget to think about it!”
“It’s the only thing on my mind,” I answer him sarcastically. “Making a mental pros and cons list as we speak.” He chuckles at me, knowing I’m fucking with him.
I get into my SUV and text Josephine.
Me:
I’m on my way.
She answers me right away.
Josephine:
Perfect, we are just about to sit down to eat. Do you want to have dinner with us?
