By the time that clarity came to me, I’d already lost him for good. Too consumed by grief and tainted by trauma.
My mind was so polluted that I thought the best thing for us was to have him leave. To not drag him along the spiral I’d flown down. I wanted him to enjoy his life.
I’ve tried to move on, believe me.
When I eventually realised after two years he wasn’t coming back, my heart got a hell of a lot heavier. It took another year after that to bear the thought of someone else other than him touching me, and even then, I couldn’t go through with it.
No one can hold a candle to Saint.
The things we did together, it’s something I’ve only ever felt safe enough with him.
Besides, trying to manage a relationship and keep my job secret and separate?
Recipe for disaster, like cataclysmic.
“Why is it that the men we need the most are the hardest to find?” she asks, and I huff a laugh.
I want to find Saint to be able to live, to have closure, to at least get everything held together in my tattered heart finally out in the open.
And most of all, apologise.
Butthem?
We both need them to pay a debt.
They ruined our lives; we’ll take theirs as payment.
I sigh. “They’ll show up eventually; they’re not the type of guys to hide in the shadows for long.”
Regina lets out a growl in agreement through her full mouth, and she takes both our tubs to put them in the dishwasher.
“I forgot to tell you this. I saw your sister the other day when I was dropping off the rental car,” she says.
“What? Where?”
Louisa never ventures near the town our office is located; she’s either living in her own, or attending the senate chamber, and that’s back in Harrison.
The complete opposite side of the state. It’s the whole reason we picked our location.
“Yeah, passed her near the rental garage. She was pulled over at a motel.”
I bark a laugh. “I hope it was one of those cheap, suspicious-looking ones. She’d die if she was spotted like that.”
My sister has her fair share of paparazzi moments. She’s married into a well-known multi-million-dollar family. We’re no strangers to a comfortable life; our mom came from wealth, and our dad came from a hard working class family.
Despite Mom’s background, she remained humble, and Dad showed my sister and I how working hard for things made you appreciate them more.
Louisa took the latter too literally though; despite marrying into a name where she’d never need to break a sweat in her life, she’s constantly on the grind.
Regina’s chuckle is all but knowing. “I was tempted to snap her and send it, but she looked real damn pissed when I waved at her.”
No surprise there. Louisa has a permanent resting bitch face.
Spotted somewhere like that? She’s probably internally cringing, waiting for a headline to hit and try to smear her image.
Louisa has crafted that terrifying demeanour she can switch on for a debate.
I was forced into it by the world.
