“I cannot help but ask you about Blake," he says, like he is guessing what is going through my head. “About your first experience. I want to know, even if I know it’s not my place.”
“You’re right,” I say while opening the car’s door. “It’s not your place.”
I get out of the car and slam the door shut behind me. I take a few steps away from Lucas in the parking lot. I can hear him getting closer, but I don’t mind him.
“I know it’s not the right moment, but…”
“Lucas, shut up. Just… do not ask those stupid questions anymore.”
“I just need to know you don’t want him back.”
With that, I stop and turn on my heels with a frowny expression.
“Are you serious? Are you that obsessed with me to be scared that I would want what I never had with Blake back?”
“I already admitted how obsessed I am over you, Anmara,” he smiles. “It makes me happy to know that you gave yourself away and you just shared a moment. But, I’m sad that you didn’t have your first one with me.”
“From what I remember, you weren’t in my life for a long time back then. It couldn’t have happened anyway,” I say with more acid in my voice than I intended.
“You didn’t let me finish," he says while getting closer. “I wanted to tell you that whatever experiences you had until now, they won’t compare to what I’ll offer you. I will make you erase the two of them from your mind, all that they tried to give you. Actually, all of your past relationships. I know there were more,” he winks. “I will make you have me in your mind andinsideof you,” he whispers the last part, making me shiver and close the distance between us.
He smirks when he sees that I am next to him, his chest touching mine. Unfortunately, a voice breaks the attraction between us.
“I hope you’re not manipulating her too, Lucas. You’ll suffer more than your victims.”
I smile when I hear Bianca and run to her, jumping into her arms.
“No way. She was the one manipulating me,” Lucas says, making me roll my eyes. “Hello to you, too,Doom.”
“You and your crazy aliases,” Bianca rolls her eyes, but smiles. “He’s playing with my substances with the mad men, and he callsmelike that. At least he is helping the world become a better place. With small exceptions, of course. Even if I would’ve loved to reach that area too.”
“I told you that you can do that if you wanna risk Paul not having a wife anymore,” Lucas says, making Bianca’s gaze get darker, her smile disappearing. “Sorry, I didn’t want it to sound like that,” Lucas tries to defend himself, but the words were already spoken.
“Let’s get to work before you get more shit out of your mouth,” Bianca says, moving to one of the motel’s rooms.
Chapter 21
Until I die
Vials and substances in bottles of different sizes and shapes are arranged on two tables in the motel room. Even the walls are lined with shelves filled with colourful liquids. I don’t even think about asking her how long she's been here. It’s clearly not her first rodeo in a place like this. Especially not with those glasses that seem like they just came out of a radioactive laboratory.
“I’m not a drug-making machine, like…” she says and then stops, looking at me.
“Like Marshall is. You could’ve continued. I’ve gotten used to the idea of almost being married to a sociopathic chemist.”
“Did you bring the journal?” Bianca asks Lucas while she puts the substance from the syringe Lucas gave her into one of the three vials she has next to her.
Before asking her how she heard about it, Lucas takes it out of the backpack we had with us and puts it on the table.
He types messages faster than I write my incomplete books. Maybe I should borrow this habit. This way, I could note down the multitude of ideas that go through my head in a documentand not freeze mid-sentence because my hands did not keep up with my brain regarding my typing speed.
Bianca rests the vial in its holder after she writes the time on it, then removes her gloves and glasses and opens the journal.
She reads the title and frowns. She turns the page, and I can see how she gulps. Her eyes go wide, taking her gaze off the journal and onto mine.
“No offence, especially because I love you and care about you, but how could you have been so blind? I told you from the first day I met him that something was wrong with him. You guaranteed me that I was seeing stuff. I agreed just because you told me how much you cared about him, but now I can finally tell you what I wanted to say all this time: Itoldyou!Itold you! You haven’t listened to me, and now you have to deal with the consequences of your own actions,” she says, getting back to the journal.
A trace of a smile appears on her lips, but disappears fast. I don’t know if I’m only seeing things, but I ignore the uneasy feeling. It’s probably because of her pride in her own thoughts that she wants to show, but she is too scared to upset me.
