“And practically?” she asks, seeing I stopped speaking.
“It has many side effects that nobody knows about, but it is used to control the people who receive it like puppets. It makes them obsessed over someone, but they resort to bloody methods to lure them. Or at least, that is the original, the last one discovered. Many times, people get to kill that person if they don’t obey their orders,” I say, and see a tear rolling down her cheek.
“Shortly, it creates the most idiotic and brainless killing machines if they get a bigger dose. I don’t even have to tell you about alternative options for it. And in Cathal’s hands… we would end up in a never-ending war.”
“Why? Why did I have to fall in love with him?” she asks herself more, and I get closer to hug her, and surprisingly, she lets me.
She then rests her head on my chest and hugs me back, filling my heart with her warmth.
“It’s not your fault. You couldn’t have known,” I try to comfort her.
“I should’ve listened to my instincts. I always felt that something was wrong. I saw it in his eyes, but the way he was behaving with me didn’t let me believe otherwise.”
Chapter 17
Imprisoned control
ANMARA
Marshall… seemed like a normal human being.
He always brought me an elegant souvenir, or flowers, and chocolate after he came home from his business trips. A little cliché, but it appeared totally normal at that moment.
However, if I process it a little better, it wasn’t.
Every time I tried to read something in his gaze, a feeling, thought, or secret, I couldn’t. Even though all his facial expressions gave the impression of loving me, of telling the truth, his eyes looked as if they were lost in a completely different universe.
When he was tired, they seemed empty, lifeless, and emotionless.
I asked him about this matter. He smiled and told me it was not true, that I was imagining it. That I shouldn’t think for even a second that he didn’t love me.
Before, I didn’t analyse all his facial expressions because I was too blinded by the love I felt for him. But now, processing every moment together I could remember, something was always suspicious.
That’s amazing. You needed to find out that the one you were supposed to marry is a psychopath who killed girls and loved to keep souvenirs from them to fucking open your mind about him.
I told you from the beginning that something was not right! I TOLD YOU!
How could I have been so fucking blind? God…
There is no God helping you now, Anmara. You’re on your own.
All this time, there was a criminal in front of me, and all I could see was a man who loved me and wanted to try weird sexual fantasies that seemed innocent, but now felt completely different, stupid, and dangerous.
I mean, yes, I also had a lot of odd thoughts on this matter, but they wouldn’t compare to what Marshall had inside his mind. It felt a bit like Dorian Grey, but at a completely different level.
Besides, he was always so secretive regarding his home office. Every time I tried to bring light to one of his secrets, I couldn’t.
For example, I once caught him with a stack of documents on his desk, along with some papers that seemed to contain photographs. I didn’t notice what they were about, but I saw some dark human shapes. When he saw me, he gathered all of them and put them in a drawer, then closed the door right in my face.
Of course, I questioned him that night. He said it was a secret that I didn’t need to know. That I would ruin it if I knew. Before begging him to tell me what it was about, he startedkissing me and threw me on the bed, saying that I was a bad girl who needed to be punished because I stuck my nose where it didn’t belong. And of course, this meant a lot of sex in the only way he could do it: aggressive and obsessive, until he drained his strength and ejaculated inside of me. Only if I think about it…
With his hand clenched around my neck, he scratched my boobs with his nails, making me moan without realising. It was a pleasure combined with a soft pain, which was a disastrous combination.
He let go of me, only to come back with a collar that I let him put on my neck. He was kissing all around the surface of the neck, like he was prepping the zone for the object that was about to stay there until he released himself of the liquid that wanted to come out of that monster.
He loved to take control of his sexual fantasies, but at the same time, he loved to offer it as long as I was doing it to my body, and I also offered him a huge visual pleasure.
He placed the collar on my neck and then quickly tightened it. It was not as tight as not to let me breathe, but enough to keep me close to the headboard I was attached to.
