I couldn’t stop myself from crying for hours when I heard. My grandmother tried to comfort me, but her efforts were in vain. Given how affected I was, I just cannot imagine how a 15-year-old orphan or his brothers could have felt. Even though they were two years older than Lucas, I don’t think they processed all of this better. The loss was painful regardless of age.
I was raised by my grandparents. I never knew my parents, but I always felt their absence. They were too young to have me when they made me, and didn’t wanna take care of me. Going to clubs and having fun was more important to them at that age than taking care of me. At least, that is what my grandparents told me, besides the fact that they couldn’t reach them. They had no idea where they were or if they were still alive. They didn’teven want to show me photos of them so as not to become, maybe, attracted to look for them.
Besides their effort, I found them myself. They were hidden in a dusty box in the garage. From that moment, I’ve been keeping them in the back of my closet so my grandparents would never find them.
I mean, yes, they were right. I wanted to find them and mess with their heads for not ever searching for me. In 15 years, they haven’t tried to find me. No contact. Not even once. Nada. It was very stupid coming from someone who is supposed to be a parent.
Speaking of stupid people, after I argued with Lucas five years ago, I became a different person and started making some dumb things too. I got home many times with bruises and broken bones. Not to mention the never-ending arguments with my grandparents because of my stupid behaviour. Because of what I did. I know I haven’t made their lives easier, but I just couldn’t control myself. It was never my intention. It wasn’t because of me, at least.
I almost lost myself after one of them passed away two years ago. I was devastated when I found my grandpa dead in his room while I was getting him breakfast. Nobody wanted to tell me how sick he was or how many days he had left. They didn’t wanna put this kind of weight on my shoulders, but it made the situation even worse. Especiallyinsideof me.
At his funeral, Lucas’s family was there for me. He tried to talk to me, but other than a hug, I couldn’t be close to him. I was too broken to deal with that, but I accepted Blake’s shoulder to cry on. I actually needed a friend, but not Lucas. Not back then. I think I just felt different with Blake, relating to him somehow, as he was the only one adopted from Lucas’s brothers. His mother died giving birth to him in the same year Lucas’s mother gave birth to Paul. Their mothers were best friends, so they decided toraise Blake as one of their own, even though he had a different family name. And as his father was no longer in the picture, it was the best decision. It was what his mom would have wanted.
And Blake… well, he had been beside me every step of the way from there. He helped me get out of trouble multiple times, and I don’t even know how to make up to him. I will be at his door every day starting tomorrow, but now I have to know how Lucas was feeling.
I had my grandmother next to me at this funeral. The only family member I had left. She encouraged me on our way here, even telling me that she would try to help the three orphans. And however close I got to Blake lately, I think her heart always stayed with Lucas. She considered him her own nephew, given that throughout my childhood, until that moment in time, I spent most of my nights with him, playing at my house or in the park near it.
She kept in touch with him, and she was giving me updates about his life, even though I hadn’t told her to do that. My ego was too big to talk to him directly, and I silently appreciated what she was doing for me.
But this was about to change now.
Going back to the present, I ended up next to Lucas, who was one head taller than I was. I touched his shoulder, making him turn to face me. All I saw was a broken and lost boy, with his lifeless gaze, and without the happiness manifested just a couple of days before. I was feeling my eyes getting filled with tears just by watching his green eyes, now just two pale emeralds that lost their shine.
I couldn’t resist seeing him like this, so I hugged him. He was confused for a moment, but he hugged me back even tighter. He put his head on my shoulder, and I heard him sobbing, letting go of the tears he kept inside. At that moment, I felt my cheeks getting wet. I just couldn’t hold my tears, even thoughI promised myself to be strong for him. His sadness was too strong. God, I want Lucas full of life back, beating boys to protect me, not this broken version of him.
He softly withdrew from the embrace, and when he saw my wet face, he frowned and took his thumbs on my face to remove them. He looked deeply into my eyes, surprised to see me here, to feel me this close to him after so much time. His lips curved a little and he kissed my cheek, his eyes thanking me for coming.
All I could do was respond through a small smile, because I felt my cheeks burning and my heart almost getting out of my chest.
I missed you so much, Lucas.
He turned his back on me, but I got to his right side and took his hand in mine, telling him through a soft squeeze of his hand that I was there for him. On his left were Blake and Paul, who sadly smiled at me for a second.
The funeral started with a moment of silence, in which we tried not to accept the darkness that wanted to surround our depressed hearts.
?
Not long after the funeral was over, a tall man came to tell the boys he was the director of an orphanage. It was a shock for all of us when he told them that Lucas and Paul would end up there because their grandparents didn’t want them.
I knew that their parents hadn’t had the best relationship with their grandparents, but I would’ve never imagined they would do such a horrible thing.
Blake was lucky because his grandparents on his mother’s side welcomed him with open arms. I saw him frowning andclenching his fists when he heard he would be taken away from his brothers.
But he didn’t say a word.
The other two were shocked. They didn’t even think for a single second that they would end up in such a place. They both looked at their grandparents, who were present at the funeral. Now, they were just moving away from the grave, without looking back.
How can some people be so cruel? How could you let someone suffer like this?
I looked at Lucas. His face was red from his anger, and I felt his need to punch the director right in the face. I excused us from the man, took Lucas aside, and got his cheeks in my hands.
“Remain calm, Lucas. You won’t last there longer than a day if you don’t calm down.”
“How do you want me to try to calm down?” he growled, looking like he was about to explode. “They want to take us to a foster home, which is worse than living on the streets, just because our fucked-up grandparents don’t want us. Moreover, we won’t have Blake, even though I know he will visit. Also, Paul will escape that shit-hole next year, and I will remain there all by myself. How the fuck can I calm down when I know we are orphans and nobody wants us?”
“I want you,” I said softly, looking at him while sighing and closing his eyes for a couple of seconds.
I heard him count, but in reverse to help himself calm down.
