To charm Gerard, Elias had let down his defences. He’d shown parts of himself he’d always kept hidden. He’d softened and gone against his own principles. He’d revealed his true self.
Well, not completely. He’d kept many secrets. But he had revealed more than he probably should.
Finished oiling his hair, Elias opened a drawer and pulled out the one portrait he had left of his mother. The one portrait his stepmother had never gotten her hands on. He’d found it almost a year after she passed in an old set of drawers that had once been used by his father.
“What would you suggest I do, Mother?” Elias asked the portrait. “What advice would you give me on my wedding night?”
Unsurprisingly, she didn’t respond.
“I like Gerard. Honestly, I feel like I can trust him.” He stared into his mother’s eyes, so similar to his own. “I don’t know if I should. It goes against everything I believe … But maybe if I truly opened up to him, then we could …”
What did he think he could achieve if he opened up?
Elias hesitated. “Maybe we could have more than a political marriage. Maybe more than just tolerating and even liking each other.” He rubbed his finger along the ornate, thin gold frame of the portrait.
“Maybe if I showed him who I am, all of me, then maybe … maybe … we could have a marriage of … well …” He trailed off. Unable to say that one word buzzing in his head.
Elias had not known real love since his mother died. Not the kind you could rely upon. And over the years, he’d come to accept that he’d never know love again. He had his Great-Uncle Jules who had trained him. But that hadalways been a tutor and pupil relationship, not touching on anything deeper.
When Elias was with Gerard, though, his insides tingled, and he found himself wondering if he could trust the strong man.
Elias let out a laugh. “How many times have I told Colette to trust no one since we arrived? If you trust someone, you make yourself vulnerable. It gives them the power to betray you.”
Elias paused. “It’s just …” He exhaled. “I’d like to trust someone. I’d like to trust Gerard.”
Because Elias knew on the flip side, that if he did not open up to Gerard, if he did not make himself vulnerable, then there would forever be a wall between them. There would be no chance for love. The lies would kill any hope of that.
“I’m just tired of only being able to open up to a painted portrait. I’m tired of always being alone. What should I do?”
His mother did not respond. If he wanted a response, Elias knew he’d have to open up to someone living.
He put the portrait away. He rose. It was too early to sleep. And his thoughts swirled so intensely in his head. There was a relatively small garden provided as part of the rooms for the royal family of Voltaria and Zephyrias. Elias could sit there for a bit and stare up at the stars.
He left his room, bare feet padding on the wooden floor. No need to be properly dressed this late at night. He wrapped his arms around his waist as he walked down the hall.
“I’m sure it will be a wonderful wedding banquet tomorrow.” Emperor Hugo’s voice came from one of the sitting rooms. “I am very much looking forward to it.”
Elias tensed. Because he knew who his father would be talking to.
He stopped walking and glanced back down the hall. Perhaps he should just return to his room. If he wanted to go to the garden, he’d need to pass the sitting room and the occupants.
“All eyes will be on Elias. So he’ll enjoy it. You know how he loves to be the centre of attention.” His stepmother’s sweet voice floated down the corridor.
His half-siblings laughed.
Elias exhaled. He should walk away. But instead he found himself marching forward. He smiled as he stood in the doorway. “Are you discussing my wedding tomorrow?”
“We are!” Emperor Hugo grinned.
His stepmother’s fine features pinched. His half-siblings stopped laughing.
Elias glided into the room and took a seat. “I am so looking forward to marrying Prince Gerard. I can’t sleep. I am so excited!”
Emperor Hugo chuckled. “That is a good sign. I could barely sleep the night before I married your mother and the night before I married Emmeline.” He reached over and touched the empress’s hand.
Her lips tightened. Elias wanted to laugh. His father had thought his words a compliment. But lumping his first and second wife together was no compliment to a woman who did not want to share anything, not power, not attention, and not the love of her husband.
“Yes, and Prince Gerard is so brave. He is so attentive. I was so proud when he won the Tournament of Dragons. He is a true champion.” Elias smoothed a hand over his hair. “I believe he and I will truly be happy together.”
